Poetry challenge #2: Swans

Welcome to the second poetry challenge. Since everybody seemed to have fun with the sept form last week, we’ll give it another go.
Remember (or if you didn’t see last week’s post) the form is seven lines in the syllable pattern, 1-2-3-4-3-2-1.
The theme for this week, as you have probably gathered, is swans, any aspect or association, or inspired by the painting by Walter Leistikow
Please join in in flocks, and leave your sept creations in the comments or as links to your blog post.

Walter_Leistikow_Auffliegende_Schwäne

Swans
Rising
From the lake
In winged glory
Mist glimmer
Sorrow
Fled.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

60 thoughts on “Poetry challenge #2: Swans”

      3. Ha,Ha, You would be hard pressed to get me with a brush in hand, but a camera, I always have one in my pocket, just in case. Just downloaded the link now. Going to brew a coffee and give it a read,

        Thanks Jane 🙂

  3. Lets try it again:

    Swan King of the birds
    Graceful and gracious
    As couple together
    Only death can separate you
    Your children fervently defend
    Oh beautyful birds
    Will we People ever be like you?

    Reply

    1. Thank you! If you don’t mind, I’ll publish this verse and a reduced one that fits the sept metre. How about this:
      Swans
      Graceful
      Together
      Until death parts
      Brood-guarding
      Beauties
      Trust.

      Reply

      2. It’s a question of syllables. The first line is a a single syllable, second line two syllables, third line three, fourth line four, then it diminishes—fifth line three syllables, sixth line two syllables, and the seventh line a single syllable again. I didn’t explain it very well the first time 🙂

      3. Thanks that you explain it jane, so i learn from it. You challence me to do something different on internet.
        This is completely New for me.
        Also i learn better english!

      4. It’s the kind of exercise that should come easily to a native speaker with a reasonable vocabulary. For you it will be a real ‘challenge’. You have to be able to hear how the words sound as well as knowing what they look like. I admire you having a go at this. The poems you produce are very pretty.

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  6. Poem fits the early morning lift off at the lake. (Intrigued by your comment about looking for 4 swans in an image. Maybe be difficult to find 4 swans in a painting as artists usually prefer 3 or odd numbers for compositions?)

    Reply

      2. Most of the versions of the story end with the spell being broken when the swan children are baptised. Another version has the baptism being incidental and the breaking of the spell comes when a king from the north marries a queen from the south.

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  11. Here’s mine… and guess the subject?
    The Dream of Óengus Óg

    Fly
    Swan-maid
    Dream lover
    Lift up my heart
    On soft wings
    Whilst I
    Die

    Cheerful, huh?

    Reply

  16. I traced The Sept from (J Lapis who found the form at Doug’s …Elusive Trope) to you.
    Is this a form you created?
    I have fun with short forms (though my icon goes to my long verse site).
    I’ll see if I can go back and find your ‘last week’ prompt.

    Reply

      1. I did find the that first post 🙂 And that combo post in my wanderings.
        My short verse place is:
        https://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/
        I’ve been playing with haiku and other short forms, but recently with the Trinet. And I like American Lunes (directions on my poetry forms page). Lots of fun new forms to be found on this site/page too: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/10/24/bps-shadorma-and-beyond-loop-poetry-october-24-2015/

        Thanks for getting back to me. I’ll save the Oct 10 link. Thank you. I’ll see what I can do.

      2. Thanks for the links 🙂 I thought for a moment I’d discovered that the form I enjoy using is called a loop poem—but it isn’t. Close, but not quite. If you’re looking for challenges you could try a circular poem (I don’t know if it has a technical name) where the last word of the line rhymes with the first word of the next line, and so on until you repeat the first line you started with. No particular line length or number of lines required, just that you end up where you started from.

      5. OK I’ll have a look see.
        I don’t usually send or enter anything that requires money. But I didn’t read the link… Good luck.

        I learned American haiku, tanka and renga. The traditional Japanese styles I have been told are a tad more complex than just counting syllables. But I don’t worry too much as I write what and how I like. I’m a rebel that way 😉

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