The Secret Keeper’s prompt words this week were:
| PART | STONE | FLAW | STRICT | NOTE |
The first poem I wrote was this, very short one.
No stony heart
There is no stony heart,
So strait, so strict,
It has never a flaw,
That the notes of love’s sweet song,
Cannot part and enter in.
Then I realised that by tweaking one word (substituting a synonym for ‘strict’) the poem I was already working on fitted the prompt pretty well.
Drifting
Leaf drifts earthwards,
Slowly, slowly,
From the mother branch, black ’gainst the sky.
Sky fills with snow falling,
Softly, softly,
Sailing a sea of stone-grey cloud.
Clouds break and scatter,
Silently, silently,
Gold-seamed, ink-swirled, riding the wind.
Wind from the north blows,
Wildly, wildly,
Shaking the last gold from winter trees.
Trees filled with birds singing,
Sweetly, sweetly,
Every note so flawless and true.
True to yourself, you walk,
Stiffly, stiffly
Striding through snowflakes, birdsong, heartbeats.
Heartbeats and song echo,
Joyfully, joyfully,
For I walk beyond sadness in the gold-seamed sky.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
I really like the rhythm of the second one with the repeated words in the second line.
Thanks! That was the idea that got the poem started 🙂
It became a very pretty poem.
Thank you 🙂
Love that “gold-seamed sky.” I want to go find one!
I saw one this evening 🙂
Gorgeous, floating, ethereal…I like the technique you used here. Very effective.
Thanks Ali. I like the repetition, not sure why.
Me too!
Beautiful.
Thank you, Indira 🙂
Beautiful! I especially love the last few lines in the first poem and the repetition used in the second one. ❤
Thank you! I’m glad the poems worked for you.
Both are splendid expressions. It is also wonderful to see an initial burst of creative expression and how it was molded and shaped into another expression. Thanks.
Thanks. Playing with words is like playing with water. Elusive until you find the right way to catch it.
Perfectly said. 🙂
The first speaks the truth of a heart that needs thawing. A sweet love song will do it most times. I like the though. It’s sad the heart gets that way. Your use of the 5 words worked so well in the first and very gracefully in your second. Winter coming on. The remaining leaves falling as the wind blows and the snow falls. The notes of the birds singing. It almost felt like Spring was close by. I love the phrase “the gold-seamed sky.” It’s a great image. I like to think of the 5 word prompt as a word puzzle. You have these words that need to find a place in a poem or a short story. Somehow, the more one plays around with the pieces as of a jigsaw puzzle, eventually they fit into place. It is like magic when the moment happens. They may be more to do to tuck them in snuggly but it is reassuring when it comes to you. It does come to you as an inspiration. I feel it in your writing. – jk
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thank you! There is a sense of working out a puzzle, but often your choice of words fit together more or less naturally, as if there is an underlying scheme behind them. I’m looking forward to seeing your suggestions in the coming year 🙂 A very happy and peaceful New Year to you too.
>
They are chosen randomly through a secret method which remains mysterious. I am pleased they work as natural as possible when writing a poem or short fiction. The future choices, I hope, will be to your liking.
Thank you for your wish of a happy and peaceful New Year. Believe me I can use your wish. I will share the wish with you, also. 🙂
Thank you. Peace is a commodity in short supply these days.