Here’s one I haven’t tried on you yet, just tested it myself the day before yesterday. It’s a neat form of six line stanzas using the syllable pattern 3/5/3/3/7/5. There’s no rhyme required but you can add as many stanzas as you like.
Here’s my shadorma sequence.
The painting is called City of Dreams by ©Matteo Da Vinci
Go to sleep,
The sleep of the just,
Turn your back
On the pain,
Wake to find the deed is done,
Decision taken.
Parting’s hard,
Too hard for the weak.
You would stay,
Live with tears,
Easier far to pretend,
Than face the chasm.
Pack my hopes
In a feather bag,
Sleep your sleep,
Dream your dream.
When you wake I’ll be long gone,
Winging to the sun.
If you would like to use the splendid painting as inspiration, please do. Post your creations in the comments box and leave a link to your blog. You have a week to produce something fabulous. Go!
Have a lovely day, Jane 🙂
https://ladyleemanila.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/poetry-challenge-15-shadorma/
Thank you! You too 🙂
I’ve never done one of these before–but I like it! 🙂
https://gracefulpress.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/we-are-possible-in-layers/
Reblogged this on Kim Troike and commented:
Bright and light from Jane! Thanks.
Thanks Kim!
Another nice challenge and example.
Now, here’s mine, titled Elixir of Lucidity:
morning drag
thoughts barely lucid
water boiled
ground beans’ scent
magic roast steeped, pressed and poured
clarity, at last
https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/elixir-of-lucidity/
Thanks, Jane. This was fun.
Snow in Two Acts
Melting snow
apologizes
slipping off
soft-footed
hoping for a quick exit
while you look elsewhere.
Falling snow
showed no such remorse
appearing
on a whim
making itself quite at home
without being asked.
https://claudiamcgill.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/snow-in-two-acts/
I quite liked your example shadorma and the other submissions already in…a bit daunting—but I like the form and have been wanting to try it…so I will or hope to 🙂
Do Janice. It’s no more difficult than any of the other syllable-bound forms.
Hi Jane, at last I send you a poem for your prompt this week. But I have combined it with another form, ecopoetry. https://rimons33.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/weep-for-water/
My attempt: https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/the-moon-hums/
Oh my! It’s been a busy week! But I so love trying out the new forms that you present in your challenges Jane! Here’s my simple shadorma…just one stanza this go. I do like it. Have a lovely weekend!
https://kmmyrman.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/death-drop/
HI JANE,i made my attempt. please check if it matches the challenge at : http://wp.me/p6NQA3-4A
Who’s going to quibble over a few syllables here and there? Thanks, Sri 🙂
Thanks a lot Jane… thanks for the appreciation… this was my first take on shadorma
These short poem forms are new to me too. I’m enjoying the voyage of discovery 🙂
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pleasure is all my jane..with your challenge,you are letting us know the new tried and tested styles of poetry… thanks again
I would say that of all the forms with which I’ve worked over the last months, the Shadorma is my favorite. Even at one stanza there is a length to it that allows a little more breathing room (speaking for myself, of course) than say a haiku, at the same time it has a contained rhythm that resonates with me. Maybe it is the beginning which is 3-5-3-3, which forces an economy of words in getting to the image, while the ending 7-5 allows for a more drawn out thought. Of course, it’s allowance of multiple stanzas allows one to explore various facets of something if the mind should go that way.
http://elusivetrope.com/2016/01/29/presage-zoom/
I agree with you about the structure. The longer last lines allow for development, and the short first lines can be the lead in to another idea.
Am I alone in using the painting?
https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/2016/01/30/city-of-dreams/
Looks like it, so far. I found it fizzed with ideas.
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Me too! Both words and visually.
Like Elusive Trope, the shadorma is really a form that I enjoy exploring. Thank you for the prompt.
https://crow.wordpress.com/2016/01/29/poem-20160129/
Here’s another try, titled Truss:
conceptual
strength exceptional
structural
textural
function indisputable
unforgettable
https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/truss/