First, apologies if I don’t reply/haven’t replied to all my notifications. It’s not meant as a snub; I’m having big problems with mail and have to go a roundabout way to access anything let alone reply. Hope to get it sorted out soon.
I know this is a more difficult form, not so much for the rhymes—there aren’t many—but getting the meaning of the refrain to shift slightly.
For the basic form of the triolet:
Eight line stanza
Eight beats to the line, or nine/seven if it sounds better
The first line is the refrain and is repeated as the fourth and the seventh line.
The second line is repeated as the eighth line so the first and last couplets are the same.
The rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB. The capitals denote repeated lines.
If that sounds obscure, the wikipedia explanation is here along with an example of a triolet by Thomas Hardy
Your mission etc etc is to write a triolet inspired by the painting below. If it helps, you can start it with:
The last words
but only if it helps. The triolet of mine is an example. The shift in meaning comes with the changed punctuation. It’s the hardest part to get to work, and it doesn’t always. I hope you’ll give this challenge a try; it’s very satisfying when it comes out right 🙂 You have a whole week, so get thinking about it, and post in the comments when you’re ready.
Painting ©Marta Shmatava
The last words ever I heard you say,
This rose is barbed with fearsome light,
And midnight gleamed as bright as day.
The last words ever I heard you say,
Before you turned and walked away,
They turned my heart to stone that night.
The last words ever, I heard you say.
This rose is barbed with fearsome light.
My attempt. Thank you, Ms. Jane.
Poppy Petals
Written by Kerry E.B. Black
Take a seat upon yonder throne
Upholstered with poppy petals
Though you are reluctant to rule
Take a seat upon yonder throne
Replacing your father the fool
And don an emerald mantle
Take a seat upon yonder throne
Upholstered with poppy petals.
Very well done, and thank you for another interesting challenge.
My triolet is titled, A Single Rose:
A single rose, its meaning hidden,
A farewell gift, or sign of love.
A pledge perhaps, of love forbidden,
A single rose, its meaning hidden.
A trace of doubt has come, unbidden,
To ponder on its weight thereof.
A single rose, its meaning hidden,
A farewell gift, or sign of love?
https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2016/02/03/a-single-rose/
I loved this one, Ken. Great work 🙂
Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2016 15:48:36 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
🙂
nicely done.
Hi Jane, one more format…great thought.. here is my experiment on triplet…
Title: With eyes closed…
As I close my eyes,I just think,
What fond memories do I behold??
The sky lantern n the flower I hold,
As I close my eyes,I just think,
Come back to me my dear,
Without you there’s darkness here,
As I close my eyes, I just think,
What fond memories do I behold???
Hope I did justice to the format and the photo prompt used…
I like this form. Here is the verse…and the link is below:
Opiate Mem’ries
The mem’ry of that autumn night
still haunts her dreams these many years
she fills her veins with opiates
the mem’ry of that autumn night
and cries for him through groggy tears
but death has closed his ears to hear
the mem’ry of that autumn night
still haunts her dreams these many years.
~kat – 3 February 2016
https://kmmyrman.wordpress.com/2016/02/03/opiate-memries-a-triolet/
Thanks Kat! I’m glad you gave this form a try. It’s fiddly but worth the effort. I like your interpretation of the painting 🙂
Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2016 17:54:37 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
I like this form…so many lovely choices! 😊
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Kat. I’ve had a lot of pleasure out of it too 🙂
Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2016 20:24:45 +0000
To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
The repetition really works with this. Good job, Kat.
Thanks for this challenge. The more I looked at the picture, the more I got ideas. I have come up with a poem which I have scheduled to post tomorrow morning unless I look at it again over the next 12 hours and change my mind 🙂 I shuffled the commas at the end as an attempt to do that meaning shift that you mentioned…not sure whether it is an enhancement or not…
As Ken and I were saying, this part of the form isn’t always followed, sometimes it claims to have a subtle change in meaning that’s too subtle for lesser mortals to notice, and sometimes it detracts from the poem. If yours is better straightforward then leave it alone.
Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2016 17:57:43 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
OK…I’ll ponder my comma options this evening 😉
Your challenge gives me a perfect opportunity to commemorate my father, who passed away twelve years ago today (and would have turned 98 tomorrow, had he lived).
https://peterbouchier.wordpress.com/english-essays-and-poems-2/twelve-years/
I may have neglected rhyme, but nevertheless I hope you can relate to the sentiment.
Thanks for another challenging…um, challenge. So hard to even get it to make sense. I found the painting a little creepy.
under the tree, the shadows crawl
but not a single bird will fly
above the leaves nor near the wall.
under the tree the shadows crawl
and in the house within the hall
a cat naps, but she’d rather lie
under the tree. the shadows crawl
but not a single bird will fly.
https://crow.wordpress.com/2016/02/03/poem-20160203b-2/
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”, ascend the throne of my heart,
Be mine forever n now,
The last words, if I could ever say,
Beaming moonlight is burning me up,
Lids of my are reluctant to open up,
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”,ascend the throne my heart..
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”,ascend the throne my heart..
Turned to a statue as I stood..
The last words, if I could ever say,
The flower in my hand, Is falling away,
Loosing it’s scent, slowly dying may,
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”,ascend the throne my heart..
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”,ascend the throne my heart..
It’s your hug, that’s gonna work,
The last words, if I could ever say,
Come back to me n fill me up,
Kiss me now to wake me up,
The last words, if I could ever say,
“Oh! my love”,ascend the throne my heart..
Hey Jane, just check this…used the words given by and could continue the triolet for three stanzas…
Three stanzas! Well done! Since you have obviously developed a taste for this and you have the refrain in the right places, why not have a go at getting the rhyme scheme too? If you look at the examples you’ll see how to do it. Happy rhyming 🙂
Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2016 12:34:55 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
I shall for sure, give another try
Dreamlike painting. Thank you for the challenge (ugh, rhyme! 😉 ).
https://gracefulpress.wordpress.com/2016/02/04/misguided/
Figured I’d have a go at this… first time, so please let me know what I need to fix.
Last Words…
The last words he ever did speak,
Will live with me the rest of mine,
Spoken in tones so very weak.
The last words he ever did speak,
Though said in a moment so bleak,
Have become for me my lifeline.
The last words he ever did speak
Will live with me the rest of mine.
http://bit.ly/1S2TwgO
I don’t think you need to change anything! It’s quietly sad, and the refrain just emphasises the melancholy of it. The thing about having to give the last couplet a slightly different meaning just doesn’t always add anything to the poem. If you mess about with commas and subtleties just to fit the form, I’d say leave well alone. I like this the way it is.
Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2016 16:08:41 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Thanks, I was struggling with that ‘twist’ because in my urge writing, it is much more O’Henry-esque so with just that subtle hint of hope in the word “lifeline” I wasn’t sure if it really counted.
It’s perfect. I didn’t think it sounded desperate, but you’re right, it might be because you include the idea of a lifeline. It takes the hoplessness out of the situation.
Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2016 17:13:23 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Hi Jane, please find my triolet updates in the following links
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/04/with-eyes-closed/
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/04/the-throne-of-my-heart/
Because I used 9/7 syllable lines it messed up the rhyme scheme, so it’s not exactly following the form…but still in the spirit of I think.
https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/my-dream/
oh clever! I will have to add triolet to my list of short forms to try… currently trying out nonets! (Very restricted time in which to write at the mo!)
Do give it a try, Freya, I’ve had a lot of fun with it.
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 2016 13:37:17 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Well. I attempted the rhyme thing. Was not a pleasant evening last night
http://elusivetrope.com/2016/02/05/somewhere-else/
Ah, go on. It’s good for you.
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 2016 14:09:24 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Kind of like making it to the gym for a workout. :0
I tried it, and I’ll try it again. I’m not sure if I’m satisfied with the poem, but I do like my final couplet. 🙂
https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/the-moon-embraced-her-poetry-challenge-triolet/
I like the way you’ve done it. The punctuation shifts the emphasis in the final couplet. I enjoy writing triolets. It gets easier with practice 🙂
Thanks, Jane. Good to know! 🙂
Thank you Kerry. It does feel hauntingly sad to me.