I’m going to try this one out on you despite being unsure myself what I think of it. I only read about it yesterday evening and muddled a poem out to see if I could do it. I’m not certain the result is exactly what was intended, but I’m okay with that.
Echo verse goes back centuries but it has a very modern feel about it. The concept is simple—after each line there is an echo, of the last syllable (or two), or a word that rhymes. In the instructions it doesn’t say what the poem has to be about, line length, or whether there has to be any other kind of rhyme pattern. It’s up to you. Here’s an explanation of how it works.
https://www.youngwriters.co.uk/workshops/echo-verse
Give it a try and tell me what you think of this form. You have a week to ponder and post your link in the comments. I’ll be very interested to see what you produce.
Here’s what I came up with. I chose to make the echo a rhyme (I couldn’t see how the echo of the same word was supposed to convey a different meaning, but maybe that’s just my personal blind spot) that leads into the next line.
The moon is tangled in midnight trees,
Seas
Waves of darkness fill the starry sky,
High
I wait at my lonely window in the dark,
Hark
While night birds call, mice cower in the hedge,
Sedge
Leaves rustle as the wind pours from the sea,
Plea
Will you be back before the stars are gone?
Dawn
But breaking is the light upon the bay,
Day.
Interesting meta … I rather like it 🙂
That’s what I thought. Until I tried to write a poem using it. It’s hard to get anything that doesn’t sound like you’re talking to one of those infuriating people who repeat everything you say with a question mark.
Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2016 15:05:38 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
That made me snort with laughter – I can imagine that would be the result if not very careful 🙂
Hard to keep it serious. Like a conversation between Winny the Pooh and Piglet.
Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2016 15:52:25 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
I think that’s very clever. I read it three times and it certainly has that hypnotic feel to it 🙂
Thanks Peter 🙂 It’s a funny form. Not even sure it ought to count as poetry. Hypnotism maybe…
Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2016 15:55:25 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
It has a hypnotic quality. Lulling. . .
I’m still not convinced that’s enough. Will persevere with it though.
Hi jane, After 10hrs of effort learning this echo styling…here’s my attempt for this week…
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/echoing-happiness/
Hope I did justice to the echo-verses
Hi Jane!
I tried using rhyme for my echo lines. Felt a bit clunky. I may try using the last two syllables instead to see how that flows. Thanks for introducing me to this ancient form! 🙂 ~ kat
https://kmmyrman.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/magnolia-dawn/
I like what you did. It didn’t seem clunky to me, but if you can make something even more polished, go ahead. I’m still getting used to the form too.
Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2016 20:32:53 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
It’s growing on me as I read it back Jane. I needed to simmer in the words a bit to let it flow. 🙂
I’m leaving the first one be for the moment and drumming up a second one. Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2016 21:30:35 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
My reply here is not a direction I expected to take, so I’m sure I’ll be giving this another try:
Echoes of Regret
I’d sell you for a song
Long
After love was gone
Dawn
Would not come to me
Free
Me from the blindness
Kindness
Would have shown
Known
We’d gone on too long
Song
https://rivrvlogr.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/echoes-of-regret/
It’s the way I went when I first tried it out. Seems natural to have the echo actually lead somewhere. Then I decided that the main lines didn’t make sense without the echo word, so I rewrote trying to make sure the poem made sense without the echo. I like your version. There’s no rule that says you have to write it one way or another.
Here’s my attempt. It’s kind of fun. I’m not sure if I followed it exactly either, but. . .
https://merrildsmith.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/the-cold-grey-days-of-winter/
Hi Jane, your poem is lovely. I’ve tried, not followed the rules exactly, but I hope it sounds like an echo. https://rimons33.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/la-garonne/
It’s in the spirit of an echo rather than a formal poem. One of the many variations I can see this challenge is going to produce 🙂
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2016 12:31:11 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Not as easy as it seems, Jane. Your comment about sounding like you’re talking to one of those infuriating people who repeat everything you say is spot on. I couldn’t get mine to make sense without the echo words, but I’m sharing it anyway!
Grandmother’s Comfort
In a pot on the kitchen windowsill
Daffodil
Basking in the weak spring rays
Days
Of brightness lie ahead
Spread
Like the table cloth where Grandmother’s sitting
Knitting
Unravelled jumpers into a patchwork blanket
Comfort
At the end of life’s storm
Warm
http://writinginnorthnorfolk.com/2016/02/18/grandmothers-comfort/
It’s difficult, isn’t it? As long as a good poem comes out of it, I’m happy with that 🙂
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:11:00 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
That’s the thing, isn’t it: breaking the rules to create something new and unique!
Yep. That’s what you just did 🙂
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2016 15:34:01 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Hi Jane. Still working on it. I can’t seem to pull it together…we’ll see. I’m encouraged though.:)
Don’t worry if you’re finding it tricky—we all are 🙂
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 2016 04:58:06 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
A challenging form– my variation will be arriving soon. Thank you 🙂
It certainly challenged me!
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 2016 06:11:11 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
I discarded the first attempt completely…this is better (practice, as they say…)
https://methodtwomadness.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/playing-with-fire/
No idea if this complies..
Beauty is in the eye
I
am always told.
Bold
claims perhaps for
chaps or
lassies whose sight
might
be not
wot
it used to be.
See?
It complies, and it’s fun 🙂
Hi Jane here is my another attempt for this week…
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/street-she-chose/
Jane ..here comes one more…
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/together-to-gather/
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(So I don’t forget to add it)
So after espresso, and then a little bit of vino,…
http://elusivetrope.com/2016/02/21/a-movement/
Vino always works for me 🙂
Hi Jane, one more from me..
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/flawless-spring-shots/
Have a look at your settings, Sri. The link doesn’t work.
Sorry to trouble you Jane…here’s the link
https://srisudhak.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/flawless-spring-shot/
Went to your blog and found it 🙂
Sorry for troubling you jane
No trouble. I have a link to your blog. If a post is there, it’s easy enough to find 🙂
Date: Tue, 23 Feb 2016 05:10:41 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
So sweet of you jane