Poetry challenge #18: Echo verse

I’m going to try this one out on you despite being unsure myself what I think of it. I only read about it yesterday evening and muddled a poem out to see if I could do it. I’m not certain the result is exactly what was intended, but I’m okay with that.

Echo verse goes back centuries but it has a very modern feel about it. The concept is simple—after each line there is an echo, of the last syllable (or two), or a word that rhymes. In the instructions it doesn’t say what the poem has to be about, line length, or whether there has to be any other kind of rhyme pattern. It’s up to you. Here’s an explanation of how it works.

https://www.youngwriters.co.uk/workshops/echo-verse

Give it a try and tell me what you think of this form. You have a week to ponder and post your link in the comments. I’ll be very interested to see what you produce.

Here’s what I came up with. I chose to make the echo a rhyme (I couldn’t see how the echo of the same word was supposed to convey a different meaning, but maybe that’s just my personal blind spot) that leads into the next line.

The moon is tangled in midnight trees,

Seas

Waves of darkness fill the starry sky,

High

I wait at my lonely window in the dark,

Hark

While night birds call, mice cower in the hedge,

Sedge

Leaves rustle as the wind pours from the sea,

Plea

Will you be back before the stars are gone?

Dawn

But breaking is the light upon the bay,

Day.