Microfiction: Behemoth

It’s Charli Mills’ Carrot Ranch prompt time, in 99 words, to write a story about monsters of any kind whatsoever. This is a condensed version  of a very long short story I wrote a while back.

Geoff Le Pard supplied the photo.


It was coming. He felt it through the soles of his feet, the heavy tread of millennia-old feet. Would it have claws, he wondered, or toes like an elephant? As it plodded up from the ocean, the river roared, waves swelling higher and higher. The screaming was audible now. It must have reached the city limits. His brain was frozen, like his limbs. Try to reach Kate at work or cross town to the school…the kids? He did neither. The roaring wasn’t the swollen river. It was the beast. Its ancient hate-filled voice told him there was no point.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

17 thoughts on “Microfiction: Behemoth”

  1. It’s voice told him there was no point … I like that. We do all have an inner mechanism based in our fundemental senses that tells us when to give up. Whether we listen or not is up to us. That he did is bleak in the extreme.

    1. I often wonder what I’d do faced with certain choices, and most of the time I end up admitting that lack of sang froid would stop me doing anything at all except quiver helplessly.

      1. It’s interesting to ponder honestly with self and part of the writers condition to put self into situations and imagine the responses. I’m pretty much certain that my inner hero is less than impressive

  2. Poor monster… so misunderstood. It’s not the monster that’s the baddie, it’s the humans. He was just sent to sort them all out, doing the world a favour, you know, and he gets painted black. So unfair. 😁

  3. Terrific that you could condense a story into 99 words. I think it’s a worthy exercise and can help tighten a scene or development. I also love how expertly you use three word anchors “It was coming” and “He did neither.” Both pack a punch in the story.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Charli. It’s in these very short exercises tjhat we can practice honing down phrases to the essential and using the sparsity of the prose to give it momentum.

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