Last sunset

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In the west the sun is sinking,

Turquoise sky soaks up the light,

In the east first stars are blinking.

 

Red cloud billows, dayโ€™s blood drinking,

Smothered by the creeping night,

In the west the sun is sinking.

 

Flying home, their safe world shrinking,

Mirror lake reflecting bird flight,

In the east first stars are blinking.

 

Shutters barred and door chains clinking,

The shadows banned by candle bright,

In the west the sun is sinking.

 

The dead are still, they have no inkling,

Lay their ghosts with murmured rite,

In the east first stars are blinking.

 

In the vaults dark coins are chinking,

Buying blindness to our plight,

In the west the sun is sinking,

In the east first stars are blinking.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

17 thoughts on “Last sunset”

    1. It started as a triolet but I couldn’t get that tricky shift in meaning so I carried it into a villanelle. Just make sure you have a hefty supply of rhymes because you’re going to need them ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. It’s amazing where poetry takes you. I firmly believe poems have lives of their own and it can be fatal to try to lengthen to our will. Your villanelle has done you proud!

      1. That makes me happy ๐Ÿ™‚ I love blogging and I get more out of what I do on this blog than out of the books. There’s an interaction here that I don’t get at all out of being published.

    1. Just realised I’ve given a completely nonsensical reply. I was thinking you were commenting on the peacock garden poem which is only rhythm. This one, of course is so full of rhyme the rhyme is the driving force!

  2. It’s GORGEOUS! You make it look so easy. And the sun is sinking first stars blinking rhythm and repetition is just awesome! (Hate that word but sometimes no other word will do. ๐Ÿ˜Š)

    1. Thanks! I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure I was going to have enough rhymes to finish it, but they were there. It’s a bugger of a form if you run out of rhymes ๐Ÿ™‚

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