For Sue Vincent’s photo prompt. I thought this was going to be a peaceful, placid piece.
The lake is still now, and mist falls on the farther shore. The sun sets. Shadow fills this ruined cabin, roofed by the stars and cloud, and I wait for the first ripples to appear on the lake water. I betrayed her once and she left me, but I can never leave her side, even though it may be death to linger here.
The last rays slide across the dark water where the stars are mirrored, so far away. Blood red light breaks into bars of dark gold as the surface is broken, ripples racing shoreward from an unseen point that gathers darkness about it like a cloak.
Mélusine.
I form the name, silently, so often murmured, but forbidden now. I step through the doorway into the light that lingers in the sky and the ripples buck and writhe, serpentine skeins of glittering water. In the centre, the dark cloud rises, spreads and in an instant, dissipates. She is there—she sees, she knows, and she is coming.
Speaking of mesmerizing… Love it!
I don’t know why Mélusine reared her ugly/beautiful head—I’d intended to write something calm and soothing.
I can see that photo as calm–or not. Perhaps the cliched “calm before the storm.”
I laughed at your thought that you were going to write a “peaceful, placid piece.” 🙂
Not in the right frame of mind maybe 🙂
😉
This is a peaceful write… One thinks your head had other idea’s. I like it a lot. 😇
Thank you; I’m glad you like it 🙂 I’m never sure whether the Mélusine story is nasty or tragic.
Nastily tragic …
That’s probably just about right 🙂
Gorgeous, Jane. 😊
Lovely clarity of words.
Thank you Steve 🙂 These writing prompts are great for exercising brevity and clarity!
Dark, mysterious, medieval…. what a great take on still water. Love it.
Thank you 🙂 Still water always looks menacing to me.
Ooooh.. how dark! Beautiful writing Jane, although I do feel left in suspense… 🙂 KL ❤
I might add a bit more, though the story of Mélusine is not exactly sweetness and light…
Lovely take on Sue’s photo. Mysterious.
Thanks Michelle! Glad you like it.