Poetry challenge #47: Spring in the park

For this week’s challenge, I had a look at a form I haven’t tried since I used it for the challenge months ago—the tritina. It’s a ten line poem arranged in three stanzas of three lines, and ends with a single line. The key words are the end of line words that become repeat and refrain words, so the best way to tackle it is to choose your three end of line words before you start.
The prompt image is this one by Cornoyer,  entitled Early spring in Central Park.

cornoyer_early_spring_in_central_park

Choose three words you’d associate with the image, words that will fall at the end of your lines. Number them 1,2,3.

Your first stanza has three lines, with end of line words in the order 1,2,3.

Second stanza, the end of line words are in the order 3,1,2

Third stanza 2,3,1.

Last line uses all three words in order 1,2,3.

The lines don’t have to be any particular length but it’s usual for them to be all of the same length.

Sounds complicated but it isn’t. Leave you link in the comments as usual, before next Tuesday please, and have fun!

 

I chose the words

1) rain 2) green 3) partings

Spring partings

 

In spring there’s always so much rain

You said it makes the grass grow green

You said life is made of partings.

 

Our goodbyes were all small partings

We’d kiss goodnight beneath the rain

In spring when grass was always green.

 

A colour I can’t bear is green

It brings to mind all of our partings

Drowning happiness like the rain.

 

Rain falls, pours green laughter on partings.

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Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

48 thoughts on “Poetry challenge #47: Spring in the park”

  1. Your poem has the feel of rain somehow–a sad rain.
    I always want to get started right away on your challenges, but unfortunately it’s going to have to wait till I get some work done. (It’s like my reward.) 🙂

  2. Oh my! This is beautiful. Since I started visiting your blog, I have become acquainted with a handful of poetry forms.

    Your poem is lovely and I like the repetition of the theme.

  3. Pingback: RAIN – MY WALL
    1. And my phone auto corrected me again – “Akismet ate it, I suppose?” was what I wanted to say. 🙂

      Anyway, I just thought that writing a Tritina was like completing a crossword puzzle. It was challenging and frustrating, but exhilarating when completed.

      1. I think it is the beauty of forms like this, Shadow poetry, is it? There’s a lot of play and deliberateness that are involved in the writing of the lines. The learning curve is quite steep indeed, but the rewards are terrific.

      1. On yours. I wrote a comment after I linked up my piece. Then I realized, the error must be on my end because I typed the comment on my desktop and did not immediately send it because I needed to check a spelling of a word I used in the comment. However, while I was looking up the correct spelling, I was called away without clicking the send. Then I used my phone to check on my comment and saw that it was not posted on your page. Oh well… mea culpa. 🙂

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