Getting back into writing mode with this piece of flash fiction inspired by Sue Vincent’s #writephoto prompt.
They told her it would only be for a few hours. Already it seemed like a week. The entrance to the building was cavernous and draughty and few people either came in or went out. It was in a quiet, tree-shaded street in an expensive part of town. They would be looking for her in the tenements and the derelict shops of the poor quarters, they said, not here among the doctors and lawyers.
She shivered, her skimpy jacket unable to keep out the cold late autumn wind, her eyes fixed on the narrow slit in the stone where the post arrived. There was a box beneath to catch it. The servants came down in the morning to sort it and take it up to their respective employers’ apartments. She was not waiting for the post though, as the light dimmed and the short afternoon drew to a close. She was waiting for a package containing her false papers and a little money, enough to get her out of the country. She strained to see any movement outside, struggling to to keep her fear under control.
A blurred shape moved towards the door. She stiffened, unable to breathe. She caught the outline of a man’s face as he looked furtively right and left, before his bulk blotted out all light, and she heard the slither and clunk of the parcel as it fell into the box. The slit filled with pale light again and the man was gone.
Stumbling from her hiding place she grabbed the thick envelope and with trembling fingers, ripped it open. In confusion she stared at the contents: a door key, her door key; a photograph of herself and Stéphane sitting in the park, smiling, from before when they had still been together; and a folded piece of paper. What did it mean? She unfolded the paper. It said:
And now we have come for you.
17 thoughts on “#writephoto microfiction: Clandestine”
An unexpected twist there… 😉
Can’t have too many happy endings, can we?
It would be less than realistic 😉
Given what we know of human nature…
Haha. I love that humorous and unexpected end! ❤
I had a horrible feeling that last line wasn’t quite right. If it comes over as humorous, I’ve got it wrong. I’ll rethink. Thanks for pointing it out 🙂
I liked the poem as is, but I’m sure any changes you make will still result in a wonderful poem.
I just changed the wording of the last line. Thanks 🙂
Oh, I didn’t read it as humourous – chilling, caculated to show they are in control, that they have always been in control of the situation – but not funny at all.
Great story and so much in the build up, the waiting for the envelope. Great stuff Jane
Must have been the wrong phrase for the situation that I chose originally. I’m glad you got the intended vibes. Thank you!
A great tale, Jane – as always 🙂
The ending is as chilling as wearing a skimpy jacket in the autumn cold. The menace in the last line is quite clear.
Phew! I did hope it had a chilling feel to it. I’m glad you approve 🙂