Microfiction: Beams

This 100 word story is for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers, based on the prompt photo taken by her lovely self. Thanks, Rochelle ๐Ÿ™‚


It was a strange morning with an electrical tension in the air instead of the usual spring energy. I wondered if there wasnโ€™t a storm on the way. With a frown, my husband pulled over, stopped the car and got out. I followed him as he stomped into the field.

โ€œWhatโ€™s the problem?โ€ I asked.

โ€œThat.โ€ He pointed at the beautiful almost biblical sky, dark cloud silhouetted against a fierce light that streamed in broad bands of searchlight brilliance.


His finger moved to the brightening hills that rimmed the other side of the sky. โ€œThe sunโ€™s over there.โ€

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

82 thoughts on “Microfiction: Beams”

    1. Thank you! I tend to find the sooty lining often these days. As for more…if you look over those hills, you might catch a glimpse of a lake where the Trojan House has just appeared.

      1. *snorting with absolute laughter and delight at the Trojan House*

        Great story and wonderful twist Jane! It’s a superb photo and you’ve done it great justice in adding and energetic element to what exactly is happening with the sun? Fantastic! ๐Ÿ˜€

      2. There’s a whole string of what the tourist office calls traditional fishermen’s huts along the Garonne. From a distance they look sort of picturesque, but up close they’re just sheds on stilts, and some of them are pretty tacky-looking sheds too, the kind of places you’d expect to find dead bodies stashed away. They squat there on the river bank on their stilts looking menacing. Hence the idea that they’re just waiting for the order to move.

      3. LOL@waiting on marching orders ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Odd how from a distance things often seem quaint and picturesque, but upon closer inspection, the beauty is illusionary – but then, even in the run-down, battered and weather worn, there can be great beauty and interest – it all depends on mood and perspective.

      4. Do you think anyone would notice if I snuck in and used one as a writing studio …. I have my favourites but honestly, any of them would be perfect!

      5. I don’t know where exactly these are, but the ones I’ve seen at Bรจgles are no way as picturesque. They cost a fortune btw, so I hope you’ve got plenty of spare cash.

      6. When we were looking for the dream home, a daft estate agent (who had already shown us a lovely house on the 150k mark that needed a lot of work doing in it and we’d said it was too expensive) said he’d found what we were looking for. Turned out to be one of these, around 50m2 of fisherman’s shed on a bank of the Dordogne, on stilts that looked very tiny to me given how high the river rises. No land with it at all. He wanted 250k for it.

      7. What a wag! I wouldn’t pay that even if I had it …. there have to be better uses for a quarter of a million in any currency but I can imagine myself into the place which is the best way to write, I find!

      8. I’ve no doubt he found some rich Dutch or British buyer (his favourite hunting ground) and persuaded them that six inches of river water is good for the carpets…Cheaper to imagine it.

      9. I’m impressed …. breaking through the thick leather hide of an Estate Agent in any country in any language requires a sublime grasp of words!

      10. We make sure we stink of poverty …. there is absolutely NO way any b***ard is ripping me off in this or any other country. That’s my theory and it helps me sleep at night!

      11. If you can put up with the mรฉpris of just about everyone from Maghrรฉbine cleaning ladies to town hall employees, it’s a good ploy.

  1. I just loved the unique theme of mystery in it. You have beautifully maintained the suspense throughout.
    Loved it and hope you will also enjoy reading my posts. Will be glad to have your feedback

  2. Oh, what a great last line! Love that. Opens up a whole world of possibilites and I haven’t a clue if they’re good or bad. Cracking, Jane

  3. I love this one, Jane! Well done! And I’m also laughing at the Trojan House remark.
    And “almost biblical sky.” ๐Ÿ™‚ If there is a god, he/she/it is probably an alien–maybe they’ve come back to see what a mess we’ve made here.

    1. The amount of manufacturing errors in the human species should be grounds for thinking that a supreme being couldn’t possibly be responsible for creating us, so maybe you’re right and it was aliens ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. I don’t know why but this made me laugh. I think it was the husband’s vindication over his wife’s nagging. Not sure if that’s what you meant.

    1. She wasn’t nagging (I didn’t mean it to sound like that) just not very observant. He was beginning to find it irritating hence his rather short reply. It was really meant to have humour in it, so I’m glad it made you laugh ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Ooh, interesting mystery at the end there. Good thing he’s more observant than her. Now I’m so curious about what exactly is behind those clouds!

      1. Yep. My son took one look at this week’s photo prompt and said, Oh you would write this so easily, for he knows my penchant towards the biblical!

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