Moon obscured

Today is the first day of NaPoWriMo, and I’m revisiting the triolet, a form I’ve rather neglected lately in favour of its more expansive relative, the villanelle.


The night is heavy now, the moon obscured,

And all the stars are stilled, silent their song.

Have all the night birds gone, by foxes lured?

The night is heavy now, the moon obscured,

Heartache returns though I’ve long thought it cured,

A night like this you left. It’s been so long,

The night is heavy now, the moon obscured,

And all the stars are stilled, silent their song.


Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

22 thoughts on “Moon obscured”

  1. Lovely take on what seems like an awfully difficult poetry format — to me, at least — you’re clearly much better at this than I am! Good luck with NaPoWriMo, I hope you get all the inspiration and encouragement that you are hoping to from it! I’m taking a break from day 1 of Camp NaNo, having finished the first of the short stories I plan to write and/or revise, and just about to start the next. Whee!

    1. Thank you! Like any poetry form, it gets easier with practice 🙂 Good luck with camp NaNo. I’m revising a novel but not writing anything new at the moment. Too many things that are finished and homeless!

      1. I have too many story ideas that are partially or not at all written, or are drafts that I keep meaning to revise (I give myself partial word count on edits for NaNo). I’m hoping to get at least several of them ready to send off for publication or at least ready for my critique group. So basically, I am trying to work my way UP to them being finished and homeless. 🙂

      2. That, to my mind, is the best stage to be at. Once something is finished and polished, the pressure starts to ‘do’ something with it, which means the anguish of submitting and getting rejections. I hate that part!

      3. I am gearing up for that, collecting information on various places to submit short stories to, and trying to be realistic about the low odds, based on my friends’ horror stories. But I do think I will feel better once I can say “I’ve been submitting them to magazines,” than now, when I keep saying “I’m going to, I’m going to…”

      4. That’s my impression too, and my plan. I just need a better system for keeping track of which stories I have submitted to which venues, especially if I plan to do simultaneous submissions.

      5. I just list them then put them in a separate list when the rejection comes in. Not foolproof, especially for lit agencies when some of them won’t let you query them again, even with a different ms. That’s some snotty Brit ones.

      6. There are some snotty American ones like that too, from what I’ve read. And yes, that’s the kind of thing I’m worried about if I don’t get properly organized. I’m trying to figure out how to do it with MS Access, with one database for stories and one for magazines and a third that links to both for each submission. In theory, I can get it to tell me all the places one story is currently submitted to or has been in the past, or to tell me all the stories I’ve submitted to one particular magazine and when.

      7. There are some venues that ask for speculative fiction or for fantasy more specifically, but I’m surprised by the number that clarify that they are not interested at all (nose turned up) in “genre” fiction. They are oh so very literary and cannot get their white gloves soiled with fantasy writing. Blech on them.

      8. There are a lot of agents and publishers like that too. The idea that some made up stories are somehow less fantasy than others seems daft to me. All fiction is fantasy, it’s just that some of it is terribly worthy and dreary.

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