Since we’re in ottava rima mode for dverse, here’s another one for the Real Toads prompt, based on this quote:
“’Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!” – Dracula
When sunset’s fire fades to deepest dark,
Midnight’s children scatter through the sky,
A mantle woven from the primal spark,
For this, each day, the sun’s fate is to die.
Music of the stars, song of the lark,
Work their magic, dreams spread wings and fly.
I walk the paths of day and skim the night,
On swallow’s wings into the birth of light.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
Another nice one for this ottava rima prompt! I liked the idea of the stars as midnight’s children best seen around the hours when the sky gets as dark as it can get after sunset. I also like the difference in the experience of day and night as walking and skimming. I also like your use of simple, monosyllabic rhyme words and how you start some of your lines with an accented syllable. Well done!
Thank you Frank! It’s a nice form to work with.
I just plain like your poetry Jane. I think one poem can mean many things and each is different. I am not a seasoned poet but I do enjoy reading poetry.
That’s the best compliment ever, Patricia! I write poetry, but I’m not sure it’s good poetry and I’m not sure I’m a poet. Like you, I just enjoy the way the words sound 🙂
Great use of form to convey mood and description.
Thank you Kerry—I’m pleased you like the poem 🙂
This has a beautiful dreamy feel to it. You used the format of the poem well.
Thank you, Rommy! It was an inspired prompt 🙂
Lovely chanson de la nuit, mothering star-children and dreams. Ambitious too for eight lines. Is there a constellation for this, I wonder.
Thank you, Brendan. I imagine the subject is a bit too abstract for the Greeks, and even a bit frivolous for them to have thought it merited a constellation.
Maybe a King Crimson song. We shared the same lines for the prompt.
Yours definitely came out much darker. One of night’s many perspectives.
The classic form works so well for the horror of the night.
You made an abstract subject very approachable, not an easy thing to do. I liked this very much.
Thank you! I wanted to get across the idea of dark and light, night and day being simply facets of the same beautiful world, singing the same song, in the same way dreams link up with reality. I’m pleased you like it.
I love that you used the Dracula quotation to go off into this lovely exploration of the stars. Now I have to look at your previous one while I’m taking a poetry break. 🙂
I haven’t had a chance to try this form, but I want to at some point.
Thanks Merril 🙂 The prompt was really supposed to be about monsters and angels, but the quote was ambiguous enough for me to ignore the vampirish insinuations. Do try the form. It’s one of those forms that you have to say aloud to get the rhythm right.
“vampirish insinuations” 🙂
I will try it. No time today though.
Tomorrow. I’ll look out for it.
🙂
“Music of the stars, song of the lark”
“I walk the paths of day and skim the night,
On swallow’s wings into the birth of light.” Absolutely love those lines!
Thank you so much!
The Shelley quote sets the stage most dark and your use of birds and flight images grants this poem a marvelous mood.
Thank you, Jilly 🙂 I didn’t find the quote disturbing, dark, but not morbid. The night has many facets…
What a wondrous journey. I love the transformation, flying from line to line…
Thank you, Magaly 🙂
The words and form fit together seamlessly. with the photo too of course. (K)
Thought you might like the photo 🙂
Love this, especially the last line 🙂
Thank you! I wasn’t sure if this was really in the spirit of the prompt, since there aren’t any monsters in it, but I prefer this kind of night poem.
Sometimes night itself is the monster…
And I loved the imagery in this 🙂
Thank you, Helen 🙂
This rolls off the tongue in such a delightful way, filled with beautiful word pictures. BRAVO
Thank you, Beverly! I’m pleased you like it 🙂
I enjoyed your poem .. would love to hear the words put to music.
That’s a beautiful compliment, Helen. Thank you! I’m not a musician. I wish I could hear the music.
Love this! Especially; “I walk the paths of day and skim the night, on swallow’s wings into the birth of light.” ❤️
Thank you Sanaa 🙂
Beautiful words to create a beautiful picture.
Thank you again 🙂
Akin to your first rima. Perhaps you could develop a poem series. I enjoyed them both muy much!
Thanks Charley! It’s a form I like, especially for short poems. I don’t think I’d like to keep it up for more than two stanzas maxi.
Ah! So much for suggesting you do a Beowulf part 2!
First I’d have to learn Old English, and frankly, life’s too short 🙂 I wrote one more today though, for the Secret Keeper’s prompt.
Another stunner, Jane!
Glad you like it, Kim 🙂