A place for us

I wrote this villanelle a while ago, but I think it fits the Real Toads prompt to write a poem that makes the reader believe in something that isn’t real.

1024px-Rippl_Sour_Cherry_Tree_in_Blossom_1909

There is a place for us, somewhere

Beyond the veil of misty blue,

Where cherry blossom fills the air.

 

I see it in my dreams, so fair,

Of every subtle earthly hue,

There is a place for us somewhere.

 

Should we let go and should we dare

Follow our hearts and start anew,

Where cherry blossom fills the air?

 

You let go my hand; I cannot bear

That you forget what we both knew—

There is a place for us somewhere.

 

You walk into midsummer’s glare,

Toss back my heart, my dreams bestrew

Where cherry blossom fills the air.

 

I hide my tears from your cold stare

And dream of what used to be true—

There was a place for us somewhere

Where cherry blossom fills the air.

 

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

18 thoughts on “A place for us”

  1. Beautifully written. It’s a feeling that I know all too well. Only the way you describe it is lovely. My experience of being dumped had a lot more snot and suicide ideation.

  2. We’ve all had the snot and suicide poems (best never to see the light of day). Love this, Jane. Much more contained than a rant. In fact, I think that’s what the villanelle does. It lends a rigidity and form to emotion that might otherwise get away from us.

    1. Thanks Sarah 🙂 Yes, I think you’re right about the form containing the emotion, focusing it. The repetition is also a wonderful way of hammering a point home 🙂

      1. You set the refrain lines in the first stanza, lines one and three, and you’re locked into them for the whole poem. No getting round it.

  3. “I hide my tears from your cold stare”, and his having forgotten that place of love….so poignant. We have all been there. He was the one who really lost out.

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