Lost words

The dverse prompt introduced me to the lai. Here’s another one.


What was it you said

when you strode ahead,

voice low?

The rain fell like lead,

your words filled with dread,

crept slow.

In your prints I tread,

though our love is dead—

storm crow.


Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

30 thoughts on “Lost words”

  1. What a superb choice of a painting, love it, haven’t seen it before. You always find the best. I love the line ‘rain fell like lead’ I know it’s been used before, but in that poem it just picks out the heaviness so perfectly and translates the emotion without having to be overt.

    1. Thank you! The painting (it’s an Ernst Ludwig Kirchner—click on the image for info) is exactly right for the poem, isn’t it. I don’t know if the couple are intended to be ‘together’ but they certainly look together apart.

      1. Yes definitely and I had never seen it before, so thank you for that, you do find some gems. It helps that you write exactly to the picture something not easy to achieve!

      2. I always look for a picture to go with the poem, and sometimes it takes a while to get something that approximates. Sometimes though, the image is exactly the poem 🙂

    1. Thank you 🙂 I think it’s the way apathy wins out. We carry on with the familiar gestures even when they make no sense. So probably lingering is more appropriate than stalking.

  2. I really like this, Jane–poem and painting. I agree with Candice about the “rain fell like lead” phrase–it works so well here.
    I may use the image sometime. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Merril. This is the kind of form that works if there is a good connection between content and rhyme words. It doesn’t always work. The image isn’t an original one, so please use it and make it sparkle 🙂

  3. The punch in this, Jane, is in the two word lines – Voice low, crept slow, storm crow – they stand as strong marks of verbal puctuation. Well done! And thanks for sharing that picture – wowser!

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