Street Light

The dverse prompt today is to write a Minute Poem.

768px-Street_lights_in_evening

In city skies, though moon swells bright,

No silver light

Deep shadow throws—

The street light glows.

 

No field of stars the heavens fills,

No peace distills

From open sky—

No night bird’s cry.

 

The orange glare bathes all in gloom,

This darkened room

That once held you—

Until you flew.

Advertisements

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

53 thoughts on “Street Light”

  1. I like the shape of that street lamp – it fits the shape of the minute poem beautifully, Jane. I love that yours isn’t jaunty but gently dark and has a sad ending.

    1. Thank you! I’ve started to think that a straight descriptive poem lacks a dimension. It can be pretty and everything, but if there’s a personal aspect, it works better.

      1. The haiku that are used as models seem rather precious to me, a natural description then a third line that’s away with the fairies. Maybe it’s just me but it often seems a bit pretentious. Tanka has the last two lines being a personal reflection on the first three. Maybe that would suit you better?

  2. Well done. I think it’s sometimes difficult to write these with the rhymes and short lines without having them seem too–I don’t know–forced? (My brain is tired.) 🙂

  3. That once held you..
    Until you flew..
    We are seeing a personal expression.. and experience in these two lines..

      1. Oh I avoid reading comments in poem. It somehow shadows my own mind image while reading an original work.. But Great post..

      2. I hope my poems are easy enough to understand, but often I find that for some poets, I have to read the comments on their poetry to get an idea of what the poem is about.

      3. Well expression is a personal choice. I have read different poems here in wordpress and am amazed by the sheer variety of it. Some are so open bare (and cryptic at the same time) that after I read it I am in two minds whether to comment or not. Because they reveal a side of poet that are hidden.
        Your poems are straightforward but personal. It’s your choice of expression. And personally I think you do a great job..

      4. Thank you. I’d hate to think they were obscure. There’s obscure because the reader isn’t thinking along the same lines as the poet or doesn’t have the same intellectual markers, and there’s obscure because the thinking and the imagery is sloppy. Either way, it makes the poem hard work to read!

      5. I think (and I will be blunt here), writers (and poets) should be uncompromising in their writing.
        Whenever there is doubt creeping in my mind, I always go back to my personal quote,
        “If you over think it, another person emerges from the shadow”

      6. That’s a good maxim, but it needs confidence that you have mastered the mechanics. Like you, I tend to favour the first thought and not work it over. Spontaneous has often that spark that polished writing loses.

      7. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I like unadulterated writings. And it shows. My other blogging friend flipflop Sandi also does the same thing. It’s good to know that there are writers like you and Sandi out there. I thought we went extinct..

    1. Aw thank you, Beverly! You have no idea how much it means to me that you actually enjoy what I write. It’s what I think I do best, and it’s important to me to feel that my best is okay 🙂

  4. I was not expecting that ending. That was powerful. You built the mood with the gloom of the street lights and lack of stars in the sky, then brought it home with that last line.

    1. Thank you, Colin. I’m glad you like the poem. It’s just a feeling I have, but I’ve read a lot of new poetry lately that is either so intensely personal it has no meaning for anyone who isn’t the poet, or purely descriptive, which while it might contain pretty imagery still leaves me asking: yes, and then?

  5. The “unnatural” light that fills the city night — not stars, not moon light — but shadows from urban lights…can be eerie. You’ve described it well! And placed a longing within that strange glare.
    I really liked this take on the prompt!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s