Microfiction #Friday Fictioneers: Hello?

98 words for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers.

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll


The obsolete contraption on the wall taunted her whenever she walked past to catch her sky rail. Crowds passed, litter fluttered beneath the remnants of the booth, but the phone remained, shiny and arrogant as if it owned the place.

Jeannie had known it would happen one day. When the phone rang, a thin, jingling tone from the distant past, she was the only one who heard. Something in the back of her memory warned her to leave it alone, but the insistent tone drew her through the flow of travellers. She picked up the handset.

“Hello, Jeannie.”


If you want another snippet, it follows on here

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

101 thoughts on “Microfiction #Friday Fictioneers: Hello?”

      1. a rare occurrance when i have called the more optimistic one. 🙂 i would add that it never turns out to be fame and fortune, disappointment every time the door is answered, an envelope with no return address opened. disappointment springs as eternal as hope. 😉

      2. It’s best to expect it. Those optimists must have such thick skin—the inevitable disappointments would kill me if I wasn’t always prepared for the worst!

      3. Haha! Same here. Before I could drive I just used to watch the scenery. Ever since, I’ve sat gripping the seat, staring ahead and shouting out every road sign and giving good advice. I hate it! It’s worse than driving!

  1. I’ve been interested to real the prompts and to see how people like yourself have taken it into the future when phone boxes are a thing of the past. On the other hand, I went backwards in time for mine to when I was backpacking through Europe in 1992 and felt incredibly homesick after only being overseas for a week. Worse than that, I had a soul mate and love interest I’d left behind and of course, things had crescendoed just before I left. Not a good idea, but very typical of me. I think the phrase is “fools step in where angels fear to tread”.
    Hope you’ve had a great week.
    xx Rowena

  2. Eerie. Fun fact. Back in the day, a lot of pay phones were set so they could only call out, not receive calls. This was because drug dealers were doing their business using them and would get calls from their customers.

      1. It was actually Monday night’s (although last night’s demanded as well) and it felt like I could just keep writing. It made it to 1800 words and I thought I’d better stop or no one would read it. 🙂

  3. Great first paragraph (the descriptions and the phone’s “attitude” about the surroundings —brilliant!) and intriguing ending. Yes, I’m going to go read another snippet! Well-done, Jane!

  4. You achieve a good crescendo through the four episodes. Well done! In a way, I rather preferred just having the first episode because it left so many options available. And the first episode was amply strong enough to stand on its own; it’s a jolly good piece of flash fiction.

    1. Thank you! I know what you mean. I didn’t intend to write beyond the first 100 words, but someone suggested I carry the story on and it reminded me of ‘my world’ that I’m inhabiting at the moment, so I thought I’d pursue it—though not to the bitter end.

      1. I loved the whole thing – true dystopia, the evil power of a totalitarian state over the individual. Orwellian I’d say. Are you planning on sending the whole out somewhere?

      2. No. It’s a similar theme to my Green Woman stories. I have tons of them and hope some of them at least will be published. I love this theme 🙂

      3. Just read Security Alert, Jane. Such mystery with some wonderful phrasing (the shouting being shrapnel in his ear was just perfect). And you brought such hope to the decay. Wonderful stuff. When are you launching the series? Is it soon?

      4. I wrote a lot of stories taking the events from different perspectives. By the time I’d written the third book I realised that I’d made a society that was much more complex than I’d first imagined, and went back adding characters to work out aspects that I hadn’t explored before because they didn’t impinge on the central characters.
        General release is set for 0ctober 31, a date to conjure with but I’ll have all the prerelease stuff from mid September.

      5. That’s exciting – not long to go then. You are so productive Jane. So many books and strands to your name. Good luck with the release

      6. Thanks Lynn 🙂 I had a stock pile of writing before I even started looking for a publisher. A three book series already written, the start of the sequel, and the first book of another series. It took me about 300,000 words to decide that I had actually written something 🙂

      7. Wow! Prolific. That’s the secret of success though, to be able to keep on having ideas. Best of luck with this latest venture

      8. That’s one of the things ‘they’ tell you—keep churning them out, the secret of success. Don’t believe it. It only works if you have a formula that appeals. I’m still working on it…

      9. The same but different, as they say. Whatever that means. It must be a poisoned chalice too, with the writer in serious danger of being bored.

      10. Depends what you want out of your writing I suppose. Some writers are happy enough to mine a vein that sells well, knowing the writing is very secondary to the familiar plot as far as the readers are concerned. If I ever discovered I could write to a winning formula I’d probably do it too. Until, as you say, boredom sets in…

      11. As long as you can keep it satisfying to a degree, fulfill some of your own artistic needs. Being paid regularly for writing would be nice 🙂

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