Microfiction: Tears

Last bit. The story starts here

 

In a dark room, surrounded by monitors and the soporific swaying of silent crowds, a man sent out a message to the guardians of the peace in sector B307. Theyโ€™d pick her up from the retina prints. Her eyes would glow like beacons to their devices. He had never planned on this, never asked to be picked for this job, but refusing wasnโ€™t an option. They had tracked her down, the carrier, and he was only doing his job.

Somewhere, in the back of his memories, something stirredโ€”a child sucking her thumb as she slept in her cotโ€”and the unexpected rush of tears blurred the confused image of a young woman struggling in the arms of faceless black uniforms.

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Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

33 thoughts on “Microfiction: Tears”

      1. You don’t have to tell me that — I haven’t been able to escape Eneana for years! Not that I’ve tried, mind you. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. That would be lovely! I’ve just arrived in yet another temp home and this time all by myself for an u known period (quite literally could be a couple of months could be 2 years) so reading becomes even more crucial to sanity. Not whinging by the way and of course I’ll see family and friends and indeed hubby from time to time. Tant pis ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Haha …. no – not him nor good friends and the better elements of family …. just the rest ๐Ÿ˜‰and btw I would count you as a friend even though we’ve never met. I’ll email you – I feel we should here there or in my beloved wilderness le Cantal ๐Ÿ˜Š

      3. That’s why I love it… most people are put off by its inaccessibility…. I have your mail- I’ll answer a little later – eagerly waiting bearded geek friend by phone to advise on vagaries of French comms suppliers….๐Ÿ™

  1. That’s heartbreaking Jane. For them both to be caught up, part of this awful, inhumane distopia. Not remembering your own child until it’s too late – chilling. So nicely written

      1. I always remember reading 1984, that loss of love that Winston suffers, replaced by the love of Big Brother. I found it utterly devastating. This has a similar feel.

  2. A gripping and well told tale. Flash fiction stories often call out for continuation, but it rarely happens. Thank you for bucking the trend.

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