In the gentle dark

This is my attempt at Mick Talbot’s Epanalepsis form of poetry.

 

In the gentle dark, squirm deep, dark thoughts,

To wake primal fears, that die when we wake,

And the rose-tinged dawn, light caught in the rose,

Holds us in its hands, as cupped petal the light holds,

To touch me with softness, a bird-feather touch.

 

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

26 thoughts on “In the gentle dark”

      1. I have one up in my private sector, I think it is good in a political way it is about some, no one of the so called cultural traditions where women have their breasts mutilated and other abhorrent things done to them and to some degree the countries involved condone it. I’d love for you to read it, its not crude or lewd but I am making a powerful point about the atrocities. What I am worried about is I have brought religion into it and just it might be a bit OTT, I need a second opinion. Let me know what you think.

      1. Know you won’t I’ll post it here, and by all means delete this comment if it offends, certainly not my intention:
        an EPANALETSIS POEM
        WHY?

        Our souls are but fodder to the evil that rules this world, they have no souls.
        Governments that fail to control cultural traditions like scarring women’s breasts.
        With hot irons, tortured beyond belief, ask why, its a tradition, their Governments condone.
        Women scared to give birth to female babies, in fear, of so-called tradition, women living in fear.
        Why, animals are treated with more respect, Gods plan, if it is then I know why.
        God has realised, that he created evil, yes the human race, repent, too late, God is done!
        We’ve killed, maimed and butchered our own kind, to this day were planning war, like we haven’t killed before!
        It’s not retribution we face, no, we are a failure, a disgrace, our acts God takes as his retribution for His mistake.

        © Mick Talbot 2017

        Like I said delete if you want, but I’d like to know do you think I should publish it on my blog?

      2. Publish and be damned! I say. Slagging off God isn’t something I find offensive though I know many of your compatriots get all squeamish about it. It’s a way of pointing up the mess we human beings have made of this beautiful planet. Believers often say that it’s all part of the freedom of choice that God gave us, and if we pray hard enough the evil doers will see the light, etc etc. It all sounds such spurious ill-thought out logic that I don’t understand why people fall for it, but if their faith is so strong, they shouldn’t be offended should they? What you say needs to be said, and loud. Damn the mealy-mouthed.

      1. You do form so well! (And in ways my flakey nature simply cannot seem to contain itself, your discipline is much admired!)

      2. Haha. I should like your discipline, but where there are paths I do tend to find myself wading through dense undergrowth with the intention of discovering something ‘over there’ which has caught my fancy….

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