Tanka: Winter storm

This is for Frank Tassone’s Haikai Challenge.

 

Winter storm fills the

ears with the roar of water,

rain and river. When

wind abates, between the drips,

I hear woodpecker’s fury.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

20 thoughts on “Tanka: Winter storm”

  1. I really like your use of enjambment in this. It works well to push you along yet causes the pause that creates that lingering feeling. I also like the alliteration. My only suggestion would be to use a semi-colon at the end of the second line as rain and river seem to be more an expression of the type of water. Just a thought.

  2. Thank you. The run ons cut the rather abrupt effect of the short, one-idea lines too. You’re quite right about the semi-colon and it makes more sense than a comma. The reason I very rarely use them at a line end is because my grammar corrector systematically rejects them. I don’t know why, but it always replaces them with a comma when it’s a line of poetry. I don’t like to pick a fight so I tend to let it have its own way.

      1. I didn’t realise what a noise they make. It’s a sure sign something is afoot in the woods 🙂 I’d rather hand woodpeckers for neighbours than chickens 🙂

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