Microfiction: Checking up

This 99 word story is for the Friday Fictioneers.

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson



She pulled into the driveway, wishing her parents weren’t so inconsiderate. The land line was down, the telephone company confirmed, and they had never grasped the idea of cell phones, so there was nothing for it but to drive fifty miles through the snow when little Mikey had a temperature and Jeff was in a foul mood over some incident at work.

At least they’d had the good sense to put the porch lights on, she muttered to herself.

The curtains twitched opposite. Old Matt Peters knew those porch lights had been on for five days and nights now.


Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

76 thoughts on “Microfiction: Checking up”

      1. I was hoping for the vacation idea, and they had to leave so early it was still dark and they didn’t realize that they left the light on. And they didn’t tell their daughter because she’s always got a negative thing to add.

      2. They maybe knew the child was ill and things weren’t going too well between the daughter and her husband so didn’t want to bother her. That sounds like a plausible scenario. Thank you! I’ll stop worrying about them now.

      1. Btw I wrote a novelette! I would love to have your feedback, so if you can read even a few pages and provide some insights, that would be great! I apologize for inconveniencing you! Here’s a link https://wp.me/p8znfS-bz I tried to find a contact page in your blog but couldn’t find any!

      2. I am not going to search for a publisher for this one because I know myself that it lacks in the ways of content. Still I couldn’t resist not writing an idea I had and also I wanted to gain some experience on writing longer pieces. so I’ll just leave it there. I’ll also send a mail to you, Jane. Thank you!!!

  1. She took Mikey out in that weather with a fever and all? Oh, she could have had the police do a welfare check. Both passed at the same time? That bodes especially ill.

    1. I imagine neighbours are like most other people, they don’t care that much for anyone who isn’t themselves. When we lived in town there wasn’t anybody who’d have noticed if the house sent silent for a week or so.

  2. He’s beem watching for five days and done nothing? Mind you, I can imagine many people in cities not even noticing their neighbour’s lights had been on that long. Well written tale Jane

    1. Thanks Lynn. I think this is a special kind of lurker. We had a neighbour who would have noticed and had the police round, but he was generally recognized as the local busybody. Nobody else would have been round to check after five months, never mind five days.

  3. I like the way you tell that tale. Involving the neighbour in recognising the significance of the porch lights clearly hints at his involvement, but is by no means conclusive. Lovely ambiguity!

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