Not a Florette: Night hunter

Putting the record straight. It seems I have been labouring under a misapprehension, otherwise known as a wrongly titled entry in Shadow Poetry. I got the form from this entry which is entitled Florette. It isn’t; it’s an Essence. Those nifty little two-liners are in fact called Essence poems. Now we know, I’ll stop calling them Florettes.

This is a Florette.

(I’m rather proud of producing this one off the cuff, so I’m posting it in the dverse open link night.)

 

Night hunter

 

Quiet, the day grows, gold the light,

That softens into blue of night

And daytime world sleeps. Wakes the fox,

A silent thief, despite your locks, however tight.

 

Beneath the stars the night grows old,

He slinks to earth where hunger cold

And fierce is driven from the nest—

A feathered gift—and now to rest; this story’s told.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

60 thoughts on “Not a Florette: Night hunter”

    1. I’m sticking to the old one that isn’t a Florette. I’ll just give it its correct name of Essence from now on. The Florette isn’t my idea of a short poem anyway! Far too long!

      1. haha. That would work! Maybe something like this (I don’t know if this is a thing…just my brain ruminating)….I’ll call it an Inverted Limerick….
        Line 1 5-7 syllables
        Line 2 5-7 syllables
        Line 3 7-10 syllables
        Line 4 7-10 syllables
        Line 5 5-7 syllables
        Rhyme pattern: A-a-bb-A (line one is repeated on the last line – you know how I like a repeating line ;))
        Might give it a go…see what I get.

  1. The real Florette definitely seems “a Jane style,” but I agree not a short poem. Still, I nicely done, this fox tale.
    You and Kat are right about the name Essence. It’s sounds like some kind of hair product to me. –Oh, maybe I’m thinking Herbal Essence, which is a line of shampoos and such here. 🙂

    1. It’s hard to say in the plural as well. Essences. Definitely something petro-chemically. I might try it again though. When I’m feeling in a masochistic mood 🙂

  2. This is absolutely stunning Jane both in words and image 💖 thank you for pointing out the real Florette form 😊

  3. Like the gentle sense of melody the form allows you to conjure here Jane – lovely to read…

  4. Another great fox in the hen house story! I like the way he is driven by hunger cold and finds satisfaction in the feathered gift! Very nice whatever you call it!!
    dwight

  5. Lovely form and great poem. I use essence as in, the essence of her being….The essence of the day… I don’t see it as petro chemically at all. But then I see florette as being a small artificial flower. All these new forms….I like the tale of the Fox hunting and the sky, just as you said, not of them quietly going about their business.

    1. Thanks Toni. Maybe it means getting to the essence of the words. I too think of florette as being a small flower, which was why I thought it suited this very short form.

      1. I like the thoughts of a florette. Of course, I wonder how long it will be before people start changing the rules to suit themselves as they do with haiku.

      2. Any form that relies on rhyme and a strict metre gets mucked about with, by people who find rhyme ‘difficult’ or silly, and who don’t hear the rhythm in a phrase. Some so-called haiku sound more like advertising copy to me, or those awful instagram quips that pass themselves off as deep original thoughts.

  6. The hunger which drives this fox from the nest is the “feathered gift” which is the reward upon return. Is our human nature any different? I doubt it. While we sleep our dreams stalk the night.

    1. Human nature seems to often regard anything that comes to hand as ‘ a gift’, ours to take. The only difference between us and the fox is that the fox is driven by necessity and is satisfied with sating an immediate hunger.

      1. Same difference … humans are driven by imaginary necessities to sate virtual hungers. Until night. Dreams are true predators. And perhaps the only gift our species can offer the future …

  7. Was not familiar with this form….
    Hah! I can picture that sly fox with feathers stuck to its whiskers, hunger sated, now curled up in its den.

  8. Wait what? I just posted two ‘Florettes’ as well, but as you just said, apparently the poem is called an ‘Essence’ poem. Thanks for sharing!

    This poem is brilliant! The contrast of the day and night with the silent stealthy fox is astounding. The last phrase as well — “and now to rest… the story’s told” — is an excellent way of ending the short but meaningful tale told through these two stanzas. Great work!

    As I mentioned, I just posted 2 ‘Florettes’ of my own (or Essence poems I guess 🙂 ). I’d love it if you would look over them and let me know how I can improve. I am constantly impressed by your ingenuity. Thanks!
    https://poeticaparadisum.wordpress.com/2018/05/16/new-horizons-florettes/

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