If ever

A Rhyme Royal for the dverse prompt.


If ever I should leave this place behind,

It would be with aching heart, tears of regret.

Nowhere in this green country would I find

Such simply beauty to make me forget

The worries and the sorrows that beset

Our grey-paved path. However much I long,

Nothing can replace the blackbird’s sweet song.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

61 thoughts on “If ever”

  1. I’m not familiar with the Royal form….but love this poem. It is almost to me, a sweet lament….comtemplated by someone who is contemplating the future neceseity of leaving a place they dearly love.

    1. Thank you. We don’t share the space as we ought. Everybody loves the blackbird’s song, but everybody is in favour of tearing up the hedgerows where they live.

    1. Thank you. I do, and largely thanks to husband keeping nature in check. I’m not sure how long he’ll want to keep doing it though. It’s a life’s work! Do try the form. I found it harder than expected.

  2. The blackbird’s song always takes me back to Wallace Stevens. Nothing could indeed replace the place we love and where we find our tethering. I really liked the natural rhymes.

  3. Such a moving sense of home and the tension of losing something so familiar and beautiful. The words and meaning really fit the form and lead us deep into the feelings of a beloved place.

  4. It’s interesting, it feels like such a richly descriptive poem, but the actual sensory adjectives are sparse, broad, and well chosen, peppered in just a few places, green country vs grey paved path. You have not so much shown us the place itself, but have slipped the beauty of the place into our minds by showing us how you feel about the place. The final character, the blackbird’s sweet song is also not described in detail, but we still feel like we hear it, perhaps because of the beauty of your rhyme and meter which you crafted so well here. The senses are engaged not by a barrage of precise descriptors, but by the soft insinuations of form and feeling. This is not easy to do. I am learning from you. Thank you.

    1. Thank you so much for that perceptive comment. It’s how I write prose, and what I try to do in poetry too. Less is more etc etc. It’s funny how it takes practice to write less!

    1. Okay I asked Google Assistant, and the one who came to recording studio might have been in a bad mood! (compared to the ones near your home.)

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