I once thought of you

A second attempt at getting an opposite effect in the reverse reading of the poem. For the dverse prompt.

 

I once thought of you

as the light in the jungle

all the stars in the sky.

Days roll by and fade

like dreams ending,

but still you fill my thoughts.

A touch of your hand lingers,

reminding me that you are only

a heartbeat away—

your smile hangs in the darkness

 

Your smile hangs in the darkness,

a heartbeat away,

reminding me that you are. Only

a touch of your hand lingers,

but still you fill my thoughts,

like dreams ending.

Days roll by and fade,

all the stars in the sky,

as the light in the jungle.

I once thought of you.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

55 thoughts on “I once thought of you”

  1. Well done, Jane, and a lovely poem of loss and remembrance.
    (I’m intrigued by this prompt, but I didn’t have time to even think about it yesterday, and I’m not sure that I’ll have time today either.)

  2. This is beautiful. The light in the jungle is my favorite light, at all times of the day, even at night with the full moon blasting through the canopy. Thank you for the immediacy of your words which took me right back to a forgotten and loved part of my past.

    1. Thank you! I’m so pleased it had that effect, Victoria. I don’t know why that image sprang into my head, nor why the moon should be floundering, but that”s how it worked out 🙂

  3. I especially like these three lines and how they are reversed: “Days roll by and fade

    like dreams ending,

    but still you fill my thoughts.” I am beginning to suspect that it is in the middle of these reversals where the power of the reversal happens.

    1. You might be right, Frank. I’ve read some examples that work fine as a piece of writing that means exactly the opposite when read backwards. I can see that it’s clever, but I’m not sure I’d call it poetry.

      1. No, I mean the blade.This last one was an old one, belonged to the previous owner of the house, the farmer. I think it depends what you’re scything. He has been using a scythe intended for light work, grass really, to cut the brambles down by the stream. In the brambles are saplings and old tree trunks, and the blade isn’t intended to cope with those. He’s got a new one, a very heavy-bladed scythe that should manage the unseen hazards in the undergrowth 🙂

      2. What a plot: Tarzan is killing tree roots with the skythe. We should re-write “Casablanca” for it. lol
        However i now have to show you my vintage skythe blade. Found it unused in our house, and its wonderful to use, and bringing fear on the face of our neighbors too. lol
        Here it is: 😉

      3. Hello Jane! The image is not at my blog, its hosted outside at a free hosting platform. But no problem with the blog. Click the link and i will give you entrance. I had to close the blog in view of the GDPR. Some cookies of wp.com are not compliant with the GDPR.

    1. It’s very difficult! Can’t you see the bloodstains? I’m glad you like it though. I’ve started my Norman Invasions story btw. The research is making it slow going though. Might turn it into a fantasy and stop worrying about who Énna Mac Murchada married and who blinded him.

      1. I don’t like it, I love it. And I feel your pain on your story! But if I can make a selfish request – please stick with it because I want this story! I’ll read historical fiction until it’s coming out my ears but I don’t feel the same pull to Celtic fantasy I’m afraid 😦

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