A second attempt at getting an opposite effect in the reverse reading of the poem. For the dverse prompt.
I once thought of you
as the light in the jungle
all the stars in the sky.
Days roll by and fade
like dreams ending,
but still you fill my thoughts.
A touch of your hand lingers,
reminding me that you are only
a heartbeat away—
your smile hangs in the darkness
Your smile hangs in the darkness,
a heartbeat away,
reminding me that you are. Only
a touch of your hand lingers,
but still you fill my thoughts,
like dreams ending.
Days roll by and fade,
all the stars in the sky,
as the light in the jungle.
I once thought of you.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
Beautiful and clever (can also be read backwards 😉
Thank you, Peter 🙂 (that makes less sense backwards)
Brilliant and charming!
Thank you, Colin 🙂
This works so well, I love the longing dream for what once was and then the unsettling nightmare that cannot be brushed away. Really interesting Jane
Thank you 🙂 There must be a technique to getting this form right but I don’t have the right kind of brain. This is as close as I’m going to get, I think.
Well done, Jane, and a lovely poem of loss and remembrance.
(I’m intrigued by this prompt, but I didn’t have time to even think about it yesterday, and I’m not sure that I’ll have time today either.)
Thank you! If you do try it, make sure it’s in the morning when you’re fresh. Leave it too late and it’ll give you nightmares 🙂
🙂 Oh dear. I guess I have to wait till tomorrow.
Good idea 🙂
“The way it’s gotta be,” not a husband. 🤡
Even husbands can fade away though 🙂
This is beautiful. The light in the jungle is my favorite light, at all times of the day, even at night with the full moon blasting through the canopy. Thank you for the immediacy of your words which took me right back to a forgotten and loved part of my past.
Thank you! I’m so pleased it had that effect, Victoria. I don’t know why that image sprang into my head, nor why the moon should be floundering, but that”s how it worked out 🙂
I especially like these three lines and how they are reversed: “Days roll by and fade
like dreams ending,
but still you fill my thoughts.” I am beginning to suspect that it is in the middle of these reversals where the power of the reversal happens.
You might be right, Frank. I’ve read some examples that work fine as a piece of writing that means exactly the opposite when read backwards. I can see that it’s clever, but I’m not sure I’d call it poetry.
Amazing Jane! The “jungle” brings up some association with you too. 😉 Where is Tarzan? Mowing with the skythe? 😉 Michael
Tarzan broke another scythe yesterday. He’s going to buy another one tomorrow 🙂
How that?? Scyths are un-breakable (i thought). Mine is from my grandfathers store, from the year 1920. Oh, you mean the wooden part. Right? 😉
No, I mean the blade.This last one was an old one, belonged to the previous owner of the house, the farmer. I think it depends what you’re scything. He has been using a scythe intended for light work, grass really, to cut the brambles down by the stream. In the brambles are saplings and old tree trunks, and the blade isn’t intended to cope with those. He’s got a new one, a very heavy-bladed scythe that should manage the unseen hazards in the undergrowth 🙂
Oh yes, i understand Jane. There was to much rust on it. But what an images: Tarzan with a skythe. We could adapt the old story into the 21 century. ***lol***
No, no rust. Just trees 🙂
What a plot: Tarzan is killing tree roots with the skythe. We should re-write “Casablanca” for it. lol
However i now have to show you my vintage skythe blade. Found it unused in our house, and its wonderful to use, and bringing fear on the face of our neighbors too. lol
Here it is: 😉
I’d love to see your antique scythe but where is it? I can’t get into your blog because it’s private.
Hello Jane! The image is not at my blog, its hosted outside at a free hosting platform. But no problem with the blog. Click the link and i will give you entrance. I had to close the blog in view of the GDPR. Some cookies of wp.com are not compliant with the GDPR.
I did click the link but it just took me to the WP reader.
Another link, perhaps better: https://i.imgur.com/fAKk0rk.jpg
Got it. It’s a finer blade than the ones husband has been using. Narrower. It looks deadly 🙂
It brings fear into the face of our neighbours too. 😉
I hope they keep their cats well away.
There are no more cats in our neighbourhood since our cat died or emigrated three years before. But when i am use the skythe i dont harm anyone. 😉
I would hope not!
Even if i use the skythe the birds in our trees are beginning to sing. 😉
🙂 What a picture of rural bliss 🙂
Yes, its funny.
🙂
Oh i forgot to send you the link? 😉 Sorry! Just a moment please!
Yep, no link. I’ll wait.
Here it is:
More vintage. ***lol** not antique
This works very well Jane! I like it.
Thanks Dwight. I think this one is getting there.
I love the twist in the remembrance ~
I also like the subtle change here: reminding me that you are. Only….
Thanks Grace. Punctuation was one of the few ways I found to change the meaning. Some people manage to use real words to do it!
Both of them are just lovely, with an air of melancholy. (K)
Thank you. It was hard to give them a twist that worked.
Love this, Jane. It’s a fantastic idea which is so much easier thought of than done!
It’s very difficult! Can’t you see the bloodstains? I’m glad you like it though. I’ve started my Norman Invasions story btw. The research is making it slow going though. Might turn it into a fantasy and stop worrying about who Énna Mac Murchada married and who blinded him.
I don’t like it, I love it. And I feel your pain on your story! But if I can make a selfish request – please stick with it because I want this story! I’ll read historical fiction until it’s coming out my ears but I don’t feel the same pull to Celtic fantasy I’m afraid 😦
I’ll stick at it. The bits that aren’t recorded leave quite a lot of scope for the imagination 🙂
And therein lies the magic… in my book 😉
His brother blinded him, in my version 🙂
Everyone has said it Jane, this is beautiful, romantic, sad, whistful and magical.💜💜
It was a hard one to write, but I think it works. I’m glad you like it 🙂
I really do Jane, sometimes the harder to write the better they are x💜
🙂