Haibun: sound of crickets

An extreme erased haibun for the dverse ‘cricket’ challenge.

Dusk. The moon and Mars above the trees and the pale silhouettes of hunting owls calling, soft and quavering. White scuts sharp in the lowering light as rabbits flit on silent paws, and the air thrills with summer warmth caught in the crickets’ throb.

How loud the silence

this summer night calls

to the pale stars

 

erased:

 

Dusk

and owls flit

caught in the silence;

summer calls

to the stars.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

52 thoughts on “Haibun: sound of crickets”

  1. A brilliant haibun and erasure, Jane! I love ‘The moon and Mars above the trees’; ‘the air thrills with summer warmth caught in the crickets’ throb’; and the oxymoron of loud silence.

  2. It’s strange the silence is what I also thought, maybe it’s because the cricket ‘throb’ in a way expresses complete silence, which in a way is a very peculiar experience and a statement to say. This is very well written Jane, magical to say the least.

  3. Wonderfully descriptive. Especially liked the use of the term “throb” in relation to the cricket’s chirp.

  4. This is really beautiful, Jane–all the parts, paragraph, haiku, and erased poem. I love the sort of catching of silence and holding on to the moments, and that feeling of summer trying to linger.

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