Tanka Tuesday: Winter beauty

An etheree for Colleen’s tanka tuesday challenge—Cold & Safe.

Erratum: Reading this again, I’m struck by how not an etheree it is! I must have been having a brainstorm when I wrote it. Far too many syllables. The second poem is the etheree. Sorry about that Colleen.

 

The sky was clear last night and full of stars,

grass was furred with white, a rime of frost,

and every sound as brittle as breaking glass.

In morning sun, silver turns to gold,

melting night time chill, mist rises

into pearly blue. The sky,

moonlit still beams, fluttering

on scattered feathers­—

winter, no

haven.

 

The sky was clear last night and full of stars,

grass was furred with white, a rime of frost,

every sound brittle as breaking

glass. Mist rises, pearly blue,

sky, moonlit still glows with

light, fluttering on

scattered feathers­—

winter, no

haven

here.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

12 thoughts on “Tanka Tuesday: Winter beauty”

    1. Thank you! I realised thet I had gone completely berserk with the syllable counting and it was way over the odds for an etheree. I’ve since changed it to make it fit. I think the first false etheree is a better poem though.

      1. Ah! Do you know I didn’t even think about the syllables! LOL 🙂 Anyway, I really think your remake is quite good, too, (although the “first false Etheree” was, indeed, wonderful.) Blessings to you w/peace

      2. Thank you again 🙂 Colleen’s prompt is so particularly about poetry with a strict syllable count I felt a bit of a numbskull not getting it right. I mean, I only had to count up to ten…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s