Spring sowing

A pantoum for the dverse prompt about time, not really sticking very closely to Ecclesiastes.

 

This is the time of sowing now that spring,

The gentle season coaxes cold be gone

Though nights are crisp. The geese are on the wing,

While thrush and robin rival songs at dawn.

 

The gentle season coaxes cold be gone,

Nest-builders squabble for the sheltered places,

While thrush and robin rival songs at dawn;

We watch the stars fade mirrored in our faces.

 

Nest-builders squabble for the sheltered places,

Hare child crouches in the grass alone,

We watch the stars fade, mirrored in our faces,

The sadness that our own nestlings have flown.

 

 

Hare child crouches in the grass alone

Though nights are crisp. We watch geese on the wing

With sadness that our own nestlings have flown;

This is their time for sowing now, this spring.

 

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

46 thoughts on “Spring sowing”

  1. Oh my YES — you’ve responded to the prompt very well indeed. For everything there is a season…..the final three lines especially touched me.

  2. Your pantoum appears flawless, and your poem quivers with birdsong and approaching gestation; really enjoyed it.Spring,Spring–shall spring from the passionate pens of poets it seems.

    1. Thank you, Beverly. I like poems with a refrain, and usually they work out without too much trouble, but I admit this one was dodgy in the middle.
      I enjoyed your poem (can’t leave comments at all on blogger) and I was struck how you had taken the stones theme like Carol Forrester and written a poem so different in tone. Peaceful and full of acceptance.

      1. 😦 I’m not sure if this is bad because the petals and pollen blow away or good because it disperses the pollen? I’m thinking the former…

      2. The bees can deal with the pollen. We’re lucky enough to have bee hives in the meadow over the hedge. It’s a shame about the visuals and the perfume—purely selfish reasons 🙂

  3. Such a beautiful pantoum Jane. I like the suble turn of:

    We watch geese on the wing

    With sadness that our own nestlings have flown;

    This is their time for sowing now, this spring.

    1. I meant to add that I read your poem last night and was haunted by those folding hands and the vase of marigolds. Such lovely repetitions. Still can’t post comments on blogger I’m afraid.

  4. I love this one. It has a very earthy connection. Your form is perfect. This form almost seem like reverse poetry! The images of the rabbit are wonderful!

  5. Another beautifully lyrical pantoum, Jane. Your hare child has stolen my heart! I also love the final stanza – fitting for my grandson’s first birthday.

  6. A poignant write…and I think it fits with Ecclesiastes passage beautifully, Jane! These lines give me a lump in my throat as my last nestling prepares to leave:

    “We watch the stars fade, mirrored in our faces, The sadness that our own nestlings have flown.” Yes!

  7. i think it is an echo of Ecc. this line could be a new format of the pantoum, though i’d have to consult the rest – Though nights are crisp. The geese are on the wing, – i’d really like to see more of this. It gives the pantoum a new character. I too see spring as a gentle season and like that your writing mirrors that with the words and flow.

    1. Thank you, Gina. As I understood it, the repeated lines are supposed to have a slightly different meaning the second time around, a shift that you can create with the punctuation. I’m not sure that this is a variant. Sometimes changing the punctuation is the only way I see to getting the repeated lines to make sense in a new context.

      1. i was referring to the punctuation in the middle of the line, creating the two separate lines. the meaning should shift and yours is an excellent example of that requirement. but the line break is rather pretty and creates a new sound to me, in fact more lyrical.

      2. I’m glad you like the way it sounds. I worried that it might break the flow. No, you’re right, a full stop isn’t exactly a subtle change in punctuation 🙂

  8. I love the bittersweet quality of this, Jane, and I think it definitely relates to the prompt. So many lovely phrases, but as others have mentioned, that last stanza is particularly wonderful–something many of us can relate to.

    1. I’m pleased you like it. As I’ve said already, it was a difficult one to write, but the way it swung around at the end was almost effortless. The Oracle was prompting, I imagine 🙂

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