For dverse, a cascade poem inspired by this painting by Jackie Hurlbert.
I saw them at the break of day,
Two ravens flying from the west.
They settled on the roof ridge, waiting.
Watching from the walls, impatient,
Peering where the sentries pace,
I saw them at the break of day.
You’d been long gone, I wished you home,
Hoped to see a messenger not
Two ravens flying from the west.
Harbingers with ill luck bearing,
Stench of battlefield in their wings,
They settle on the roof ridge, waiting.
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Jane, you build the anticipation so well here with this form. This is a wonderful interpretation.
Thanks Lynn. I enjoy this form 🙂
My pleasure! And FYI- it’s Linda. 😉
Sorry! That’s the second time I’ve done that. I know it’s Linda as well 🙂
You’re not the only one- it happens a lot-LOL.
The daft thing is, each time I remind myself, this is Linda, but a Lynn still managed to slip through 🙂
suspense
There’s usually something unpleasant on the horizon.
I like this a lot. It has such a sense of menace about it.
Thank you. Ravens never bode well.
I have never thought of ravens this way… but can indeed be scavengers and harbingers of war… love how you connected it together in the last stanza
It’s especially when they perch on your house. Means bad luck. Worst of all is if one (any bird actually) flies indoors. That means a death.
When I was a teen, a couple of time birds flew down the chimney into the house. We had two dogs, and they were going crazy. I think we finally got the bird out, but I suspect that often if a bird flies indoors, it signals the bird’s death. 😉
I was very upset when I was eleven or so when a bird fell down the chimney in my bedroom. The chimney have been blocked up so we couldn’t let it out. I heard it fluttering, getting weaker and weaker until it died.
Just hearing that story makes me feel traumatized! I think we finally got the bird to fly out a door or window–it was so terrified.
It was awful. I wanted my dad to knock the bricks through but he wouldn’t. It has to be said he wasn’t much of a handman and didn’t have tools for knocking walls down and building them up again.
I’m glad your bird got out, though the experience might have damaged it.
Yes, I really don’t remember–only the dogs barking and the terrified bird. I imagine that would have been quite a job for your dad!
Impossible. The only thing he ever made was half a bookcase. He ran out of materials and patience half-way through and the last shelves were just raw unsanded planks propped up with bricks 🙂
🙂
My father didn’t make anything either, or really do anything about that house. He learned to cook a bit after he and mom got divorced.
I can’t imagine my dad without my mother. I don’t know how she managed to live ten years after he died.
such exceptional imagery, and repetition
Thank you!
“stench of battlefield in their wings” such a great line. your poem reminds me of Game of Thrones. Very wonderful cascade, Jane.
Thanks Jade 🙂 I must be the only person on the planet ( apart from my husband and a few Kalahari Bushmen) who hasn’t seen the TV series.
You are welcome. That’s ok on GoT, because one day you will and seeing it for the first time can never be repeated for its entertainment value.
I started to read the books years ago. One of the kids brought one back from the library and I was stuck at home in the aftermath of a difficult birth so I read all their library books. The French translation I thought was pretty good. I dipped into the original once and decided I preferred the French.
I haven’t seen it either.
To be expected, I suppose 🙂
🙂
Those ravens do seem ominous with some unfortunate message to deliver with their presence.
That’s the reputation they have. Thanks, Frank.
I could feel the clench of anticipation at the end. My family has drilled some superstitions into my head from a young age and dark wings, dark omens is one that seem to drift in from outside the family but stuck just as well.
Thank you. I don’t know why that superstition arose. You’d think crows and ravens were reasonably innocuous birds.
Well a group of crows are called a murder
and a group of apes is called a shrewdness. I think that term was invented before it was realised human beings are apes too…
A shrewdness, that’s a fantastic name
It is! I just discovered it today.
Well done, especially “Stench of battlefield in their wings”.
Thank you. Crows and ravens have always been associated with war and death.
Well done – exactly the story I imagined would go with this image.
Thank you! The magic of ravens 🙂
A mysterious tale, nice presentation, dramatic ending
much love…
Thank you, Gillena 🙂
Wonderful poem, Jane. I love the rhythm of it–it could be a song.
Thank you! That’s why I like this form. It works like a story or a song if you keep the lines the same length.
A haunting tale and the form worked so well to express the darkness of the raven. I sometimes worry when I see one lingering around a little longer than I like.
Thank you. I like the repetition in this form, it fits the story-telling idea. The crow family are interesting, but not lovable if you’re a smaller bird. I often see them being chased away from nests and fledglings by angry songbirds.
Mythical. (K)
I wonder what happens next. This is an intriguing piece, with that kind of ending.
Thanks Grace. It usually means somebody dies.
Nice work on the form Jane. A great take on the painting.
Thanks Dwight! It’s an enjoyable form to work with.
This is the picture that appealed to me also. I just love your use of repetition – so that the poem becomes a chant reminiscent of the old rhymes of folklore and magic. Yo really captured the way superstitions linger into our contemporary world. Nice work!
Thank you Christine 🙂 The raven is important in so many mythologies it’s hard to separate the bird from the myth.
Love this one.. and the repetition works very well here.
Thanks, Judy 🙂
These ominous messengers seem to resemble vultures!
They bring bad luck, that’s for sure 🙂
Wonderful interpretation of Jacquline’s art. Well written Jane.