For the dverse prompt. This was a hard one. I got stuck on Peelers and it took a while to send them back to barracks.
How do we make it like it was,
before the layered dim-dull years
of struggling at the edge of forbearance
stifled the joy?
Is there a tool you can buy
to peel them away,
the encrusted disappointments,
like careening barnacles
from an old hull?
“encrusted disappointments” – so good.
Thanks Sarah.
It may have taken awhile, but you came up with a really effective simile! Thanks for sharing.
It’s like getting an ear worm. I’m pleased you like what came next.
I think you did great.
(You still think the ones in VV are hard?)
Thanks.
The image in VV doesn’t always say anything to me, but it’s all a question of seeing that spark.
Precisely.
Love this Jane!
Cheers, Linda 🙂
I have a soft spot for barnacles, so needy they cling to a boat’s bottom. I like the phrases ‘layered dim-dull years’ and ‘encrusted disappointments’, Jane. Although, I would have found a poem about Peel’s bobbies an interesting angle!
Thanks Kim 🙂 Well, yes, I thought Peelers would be interesting too, but what do you say about them? They’re hard to just slip in as an aside.
I’d like to know what that tool could be for all the disappointments as well.
I’m not sure Frank, but I’m certain you can’t buy it.
Put me on the list for one of those fantastic tools. This is a trim, tight poem that rocks the prompt.
Thanks Glenn 🙂
“to peel them away,
the encrusted disappointments”
WOW great lines Jane
Thanks for dropping by to read mine
Much❤love
Thanks Gillena. I almost always read yours, just don’t always have something constructive to say 🙂
Such a tool would be handy…good one, Jane!
Thanks Lynn. It’s using it that’s difficult.
A thought provoking piece. Well done.
Thank you.
If you find that tool please let me know, I could use it.
I think we have it already, in our heads. It takes nerve though to get it out and do the surgery.
Hindsight, fortunately, right?
I still carry around a fair few barnacles but I think they add perspective 🙂
Barnacles add weight same as disappointments, don’t they? Nice one.
Thank you. Yes, they do, and they nibble away at the sound wood beneath.
I didn’t get unstuck for this challenge, but when I read yours I knew I had to comment. It’s subtle … and brilliant…and it fits so many relationships gone awry. Bravo!
I really love the metaphor of those barnacles… to peel away encrusted disappointments — wow
Thanks Bjorn.
I’d like to think there is such a device. Over time, the crust gets pretty thick. But experience, when need be (when it’s only crusting), should be penetrable. As you say, like barnacles.
They might not be any good for the streamlining, but they’re a source of life and a sign of age, experience also. I know that would be enough to have some people reaching for the scalpel but live and let live, I say.
So relatable. I especially like, “before the layered dim-dull years” I am fond of questions in poems that leave me pondering. Thanks for this.
I’m glad you like this. The day we stop asking questions is the day we can roll over and die!
I agree. Let’s keep asking.
🙂
“How do we make it like it was”? That’s the million dollar question right there.
And the answer is, we can’t. Doesn’t stop us trying though.
I like everything about this poem…the metaphor, the imagery, the question to ponder and especially this auditory delight…”before the layered dim-dull years”.
Thank you, Mish! I’m pleased you can hear that line. So much of poetry is in the ear, not in smart clever phraseology.
This is excellent, Jane! “dim-dull years” “encrusted disappointments” – If you find that elusive tool, let me know.
Thank you! I’m sure we all have the means to do a bit of careening, but it takes an effort not everyone is prepared to make.
So true.