In these times of incertitude and justifiable apprehension, we are all called upon to act sensibly and with solidarity. Some are doing just that, but there are others who are thinking about number one alone, and who will let nothing and no one prevent them facing the apocalypse with a clean bum.
There are many people now with several tons of toilet paper stocked in their garages and basements, under the sink, filling the attic. Many will be wondering how they can use it in the coming months and years or when their shopping habits go back to normal, whichever comes first. No need to worry about getting bored, though; toilet paper is extremely versatile. There are thousands of exciting recipes appearing on the Internet, as toilet paper replaces all the boring old staples like pasta, rice, and potatoes. Here are just a few of them.
Use the pure white kind mashed with a dab of lemon flavoured liquid soap to give it a creamy texture.
It makes wonderful fritters too, shaped into rounds and fried in hot oil.
Tear into flakes and use it to replace Parmesan. And don’t throw away the cardboard interiors. If you have run out of pasta, you can use them as a substitute for cannelloni, stuffed with your favourite filling with a béchamel-style topping whipped up in the blender with paper and hand wash to make it gel.
Or if you are short of time, just fill them with mash and crispy bacon and bake them in the oven.
For desserts, the pink floral paper is the best. Blend and leave it overnight in the freezer and serve with your favourite fruity hand wash or if it’s a celebration, a dash of cheery purple methylated spirits.
Hope this helps.