A décima poem as an exercise, because I find this form extremely difficult. Not sure why. I do know I’m not a big fan.
Mornings walking where the dew falls,
In the dripping meadow grasses,
Where at night time badger passes
And the tireless nightingale calls
To the moon and when a star falls,
In the grass I find the places,
In between the flowered spaces,
Where life that knows wild freedom crept,
While we and ours soundly slept—
I never see their wide-eyed faces.
26 thoughts on “Mornings walking”
Thank you 🙂
Well, admittedly spoken as a rank amateur but I really think you’ve excelled Jane! It’s made me curious to know more about this particular form. Perhaps you’d be kind enough to recommend a link to info about the décima poem that’s approachable for a novice to read?
The instructions are in this wiki entry
I think it’s the eight syllable limit I don’t like much. I prefer longer lines.
I’m glad you thought it turned out okay 🙂
Thank you! fascinating.. “A decimero would frequently challenge the target of the satire or his/her defender to respond in kind with a décima, thereby setting up a song duel that tested the originality and wit of contending composers.” I think I sensed a story in this form. Love it, and I’ll read more of the article later. Cheers!
I can’t imagine anyone duelling off the cuff with this form. It took me hours to write one stanza!
I’d like to write one but about something I feel angry about. The topic surfaced soon after learning about the form (thank you). I’ve been jotting down notes but haven’t even tried to make an attempt yet, if it’s challenging for you I imagine it’ll be too much of a reach for me!
Not necessarily. We all have styles and preferences. I don’t get on with this one, but if it’s taken your fancy you might well find it a lot easier than I do 🙂
You inspired me to try out ghazals. I think for one life time one inspiration is enough. I shall let this one pass and enjoy the respite 😀
I don’t want to encourage any to try this. I’m happy never to either write or read another in my life 🙂
it turned out very nice, in spite of your reluctance to try this form
Thank you, Beth. It’s the second time I’ve tried it. I still don’t think it’s going to be favourite though 🙂
It’s lovely, but I see what you mean about the eight-syllable limit. I don’t think this has quite the usual flow of many of your other poems though individually the lines are lovely (if that makes sense).
Thank you 🙂 I don’t understand what the underlying problem is, but there is one.
I think perhaps it was just you feeling constrained?
Maybe. I never feel that with iambic tetrameter, so maybe it’s because it’s a number of syllables rather than feet. Syllables don’t have rhythm.
The poem is skillfully done, and all the night phenomena are thrilling and appealing. Regarding the form, I think I resonate with the word “limit” above. You’ve succeeded with the form, but it seems as if the words want to break out of the lines. Of course, you will use terms such as “wild freedom” and “wide-eyed”! It is sonorous, aloud.
Thank you. It is limiting in a way other strict forms aren’t. Maybe because it’s 8 syllables per line and not four feet. Not sure, but I know I’m not comfortable with it.
I’m glad it works read aloud. At least the rhythm holds.
It has a lullaby feel, but I think it’s not a natural rhythm… at least not your natural rhythm. Not sure if I’ve ever attempted one. I’ll have to look. (K)
It doesn’t feel right to me either and I’ve no idea why. Maybe it’s the rhyme scheme that’s to limiting, but that shouldn’t affect the rhythm.
I can’t find any attempts. Perhaps I’ll try one and see what happens.
You might get on with it better than I do.
Jane, this is lovely and reminds me of growing up in the country and standing in dewy grass watching the horses in the field.
I’ve never heard of a décima poem but I enjoyed your poem very much. Stay safe!
Thanks Michelle 🙂 Memories of the countryside seem to stay so clear, don’t they?
Keep on keeping safe too.