Mornings walking

A décima poem as an exercise, because I find this form extremely difficult. Not sure why. I do know I’m not a big fan.

 

Mornings walking where the dew falls,

In the dripping meadow grasses,

Where at night time badger passes

And the tireless nightingale calls

To the moon and when a star falls,

In the grass I find the places,

In between the flowered spaces,

Where life that knows wild freedom crept,

While we and ours soundly slept—

I never see their wide-eyed faces.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

26 thoughts on “Mornings walking”

  1. Well, admittedly spoken as a rank amateur but I really think you’ve excelled Jane! It’s made me curious to know more about this particular form. Perhaps you’d be kind enough to recommend a link to info about the décima poem that’s approachable for a novice to read?

      1. Thank you! fascinating.. “A decimero would frequently challenge the target of the satire or his/her defender to respond in kind with a décima, thereby setting up a song duel that tested the originality and wit of contending composers.” I think I sensed a story in this form. Love it, and I’ll read more of the article later. Cheers!

      2. I’d like to write one but about something I feel angry about. The topic surfaced soon after learning about the form (thank you). I’ve been jotting down notes but haven’t even tried to make an attempt yet, if it’s challenging for you I imagine it’ll be too much of a reach for me!

      3. Not necessarily. We all have styles and preferences. I don’t get on with this one, but if it’s taken your fancy you might well find it a lot easier than I do 🙂

      4. You inspired me to try out ghazals. I think for one life time one inspiration is enough. I shall let this one pass and enjoy the respite 😀

  2. It’s lovely, but I see what you mean about the eight-syllable limit. I don’t think this has quite the usual flow of many of your other poems though individually the lines are lovely (if that makes sense).

      1. Maybe. I never feel that with iambic tetrameter, so maybe it’s because it’s a number of syllables rather than feet. Syllables don’t have rhythm.

  3. The poem is skillfully done, and all the night phenomena are thrilling and appealing. Regarding the form, I think I resonate with the word “limit” above. You’ve succeeded with the form, but it seems as if the words want to break out of the lines. Of course, you will use terms such as “wild freedom” and “wide-eyed”! It is sonorous, aloud.

    1. Thank you. It is limiting in a way other strict forms aren’t. Maybe because it’s 8 syllables per line and not four feet. Not sure, but I know I’m not comfortable with it.
      I’m glad it works read aloud. At least the rhythm holds.

  4. It has a lullaby feel, but I think it’s not a natural rhythm… at least not your natural rhythm. Not sure if I’ve ever attempted one. I’ll have to look. (K)

  5. Jane, this is lovely and reminds me of growing up in the country and standing in dewy grass watching the horses in the field.
    I’ve never heard of a décima poem but I enjoyed your poem very much. Stay safe!

  6. Pingback: precipice – K.

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