A folly poem for the dverse prompt.
She took his hand and led him to
the balustrade of palest stone,
as smooth as pebbles ground by tides,
cradled by the waves and rolled
in sand, the dust of stolen pearls.
He took her hand and followed where
the waves crashed on the cliff below,
and stars shone cold and bright above.
She took his hand and held it tight,
as folly danced among the waves.
Her hand held tight above the din
of breakers on the cliff below,
he whispered words that neither heard;
though starlight crowded all about,
they leapt for all was black despair.
I hope you don’t mind me turning this into a propaganda post, but today I published my first collection of poetry, a chapbook thicker than water and I am so pleased with myself! I won’t leave mercantile links here, but you can get them from this blog post.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
Sometimes there is nothing else to be done. I could hear the crashing surf below and see their sea misted faces with his lips moving. You make the tragedy fresh in your telling. Folly strutting itself all over the place in this.
Congratulations on your published work!!!!!!! Way to go!
Thanks Lisa 🙂
Something that had to be done (the chapbook).
You are welcome, Jane.
🙂
Very beautifully dark.
“Her hand held tight above the din
of breakers on the cliff below,
he whispered words that neither heard;
though starlight crowded all about,
they leapt for all was black despair.”
I too went for the falling off the cliff ending in my own piece. It’s really something seeing that temple so close to the edge and paired with the limited background between the Earl-Bishop and Frideswide, I just think it has to end with darkness. A leap of despair, if you will.
You entwine these themes eloquently, as you always do. 😉 Fantastic work on this piece, it’s quite an enjoyable read.
Thanks Lucy. It’s such a wild, savage setting. You’d wonder why anyone would have built so close to disaster.
This is so sad and so beautiful–and tender, too, in the hand holding and whispers.
The feeling, though not the setting, makes me think of the movie Cold War–and I suppose every couple caught in some impossible situation.
Thank you. I imagine the setting or epoch doesn’t change much when you lay bare emotions.
No, probably not.
have not been to see the sea in two years. your poem took me there
i hope not to get to the point of jumping before i see the sea again.
your peice covers this darkness with dignity.
thank you
Thank you for your thoughtful (and perspicacious) comment. It’s 14 years since I saw the sea but once seen, never forgotten.
Oh, my!
♥♠♣♦
🙂
“He whispered words that neither heard” just adds to the realism of the death tryst. Lovely ballad.
Thanks, Dora. I enjoy the ballad style, but it’s easy to camp it up. I did try to add a note of genuine feeling to the drama.
Many many hearty congratulations, Jane 💝 This is spine-tingling and dark to the point of perfection.
Thank you, Sanaa 🙂 It was time to get a collection together.
What a beautiful poem with such a sad ending! I love the flow of words and subtle rhyme here.
Thank you! I enjoy rhythm and when a rhyme falls naturally without waiting for the end of the line 🙂
Me too! 😊
🙂
Congratulations! Not a day for a suicide pact perhaps, but evocatively written.
‘though starlight crowded all about,
they leapt for all was black despair.’
I can sense the all encompassing night taking them away. Well done.
Thank you! Any day’s good for a ballad, in my book 🙂 The photo of the folly on the edge of the cliff rattled my cage a bit.
Firstly, congratulations on the chapbook – I started dipping into it yesterday and can’t wait to find a quiet time to read some more. Now to focus on the folly ballad, which is tragic and beautiful, Jane. I enjoyed the sumptuousness of the simile:
‘as smooth as pebbles ground by tides,
cradled by the waves and rolled
in sand, the dust of stolen pearls’
and the stunning contrast of:
‘though starlight crowded all about,
they leapt for all was black despair.’
Thank you, Kim 🙂 I really appreciate your comments, and that you mean what you say 🙂
Suicide seems rife with folly. Of course, as they say, there are always exceptions…but not that many I think. The way you have painted it, too, reflects the romantic aura it has, especially for the young.
I don’t have a kindle, nor do I like reading books digitally, so I’ll have to wait for Amazon to snail mail it to me. Something to look forward to on a winter’s day. (K)
Young people seem very tempted by the big gesture. Maybe one reason why so many of them are herded into petrol bomb-slinging, fire-lighting mobs by terrorist groups.
I dislike the kindle too. It’s a nasty-looking object and so awkward if you want to go back a few pages or chapters to check something.
Yes, I’m always going back and forth in books. Part of the pleasure. Those dog eared pages.
Yes. Something kindle will never be able to reproduce.
It’s your book, so what if you turn it into a propaganda post. Don’t forget Tweeter and such.
Tweeted yesterday and got a good response from poetry circles.
Found you.
I saw 🙂
An awesome poem, JD.
And about the book:
What wonderful news! I WILL be purchasing as soon as I’m done congratulating you. Your title grabbed my eye, it being a line in a poem I published a while back, which you can read here, if interested: https://eggsovertokyo.blogspot.com/2015/04/red-as-bell.html
Good luck. I’m looking forward to the read & will post a photo of me, smiling,
🙂
I love the poem… such a turn to the sad in the end, but maybe they felt they were out of options.
It happens often. In dramatic love stories anyway 🙂
The repetition of hand holding made me think there wouldn’t be a happy ending, the repetition was mesmerising and I almost felt like I was jumping with them.
And… congratulations on your launch!
Thank you! And I’m pleased you enjoyed the repetition. I enjoy that. It’s in all good stories and I wanted them to at least have that, the certainty of a hand to hold.
Wonderfully written, Jane😊
Hearty congratulations on your published work👍👍
Thank you so much, Roshni!
A beautiful poem, and if you don’t let people know how can they buy your book 💜
Thank you 🙂 The joys of self-promotion!
Eek, it is necessary 💜
Not at all. As you say, only if you want to sell any books 🙂
Would you like to do a visit to my blog I can send you some questions or do a sample how ever you’d like to pitch it
That’s a kind thought. Yes, go on then. Send me a few questions, just don’t make them hard ones 🙂
Okay I am on it 💜
🙂
Oh Em Gee Jane, this may be the first recount of suicide that can be called lovely, all those sad. Well written. The arthritis in my fingers has led me to making comments using Siri to transcribe my spoken word to typed words. I love what Siri did to the beginning of this comment if you read it I think you’ll understand I was trying to say Capital oh capital MG. Oh hell, I give up! 🙂
I’m sorry your arthritis is giving you such hilarity, Rob 🙂 Thank you for the OMG and the smile.
I just love that ending Jane.
Thank you, Paul 🙂
🙂
Gorgeous writing, Jane.
“She took his hand and held it tight,
as folly danced among the waves.”
Congratulations on your book!
Thank you! And for the book too 🙂