For dverse. Gothic as a form is hard (for me) to take seriously, so I’ve chosen a ballad form and camped it up a bit.
A bird flew out of the turret
As the last red light was dying,
The call of a distant egret,
Clear as the last child crying.
The sounds of the darkness grew louder
With the waning of the light,
And monstrous beasts stalked prouder
With the swelling of the night.
She wandered the paths at midnight
From hill down bloody glen,
Hoping the beacon searchlight
Would light her home again,
But the tangle of bramble’s a traitor
And caught in its cruel embrace,
She was bound in the dark to wait for
The one who would steal her face.
A bird flew out of the turret
When horror invested the place,
The shriek of the pure white-plumed egret
Is the song of her lovely dead face.
The one who would steal her face! Yikes!
That painting is perfect for this poem and theme.
Thank you 🙂 The illustration is a detail from another version the the painting Sanaa chose (the painter’s name is Americanised to Fuseli). I like it. The hose looks mad!
Ohhh–yes, ok. Now I know the image. Yes, nightmare horse!
As I’ve just replied to Sanaa, I went to wikimedia commons to check because I had a feeling it was the same painter/painting and the photo of the day is…a great white egret! Coincidence? I don’t think so.
The Oracle’s influence?
Nicely done.
I think many great gothic poems have an element of humor in them… why must every lovely maiden walk alone to places at midnight where they are bound to get killed?
Yes, that’s the point. If it isn’t intentionally funny (as in Northanger Abbey) it relies on a formula so readers will know more or less what to expect.
You chose the classic form for a Gothic poem, Jane, as it should be. I agree with Björn about women who wander paths at midnight in bloody glens – they should know better! The bramble brings Sleeping Beauty to mind, but how awful to be ‘bound in the dark to wait for / The one who would steal her face’! The final lines make a perfect ending.
Thanks Kim. In every formulaic story there has to be a grain of originality 🙂
You rocked the prompt!! 💝 I so love that you chose to write a ballad for the Gothic theme 🙂 the closing image in particular is deliciously eerie.
Thank you! I’ll tell you what is eerie. I went to wikimedia commons to look up the painting I used which I was sure was a detail of the painting you used in your post, and what is the image of the day? A white-plumed great egret.
Whoaaa 😀 😀
Delightfully creepy Jane 🙂
Thank you!
WOW. Truly stirring and the last two lines, creepy! I loved this. 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Then the bird said Nevermore.
‘Croak’
To be helpless in the dark woods, waiting for someone to steal your face, sounds danged terrifying!
When you put it like that…
very Edgar Allen great.
Thank you!
Nasty! I know what you mean about the Gothic form. I found myself getting more and more tongue-in-cheek with each stanza of mine, especially as it involved someone dying on a toilet! You’ve captured the style just right though, Jane!
I’m going back to catch up on last night’s contributions. This one sounds like a must-read!
Woe to the white plumed egret. For someone who “finds it difficult” you over-achieved!!
Ha ha! I like the ballad style and slipped in a bit of horror for laughs 🙂
I hope I won’t lose my whole face, but I’ll give you this: my jaw’s dropped. Well done, JD
Dropped jaw picked up and returned with thanks for the compliment 🙂
“She was bound in the dark to wait for
The one who would steal her face.”
Wow! I love that. Definitely the definition of gothic. 🙂
Thank you! I’m pleased you think it hit the spot.
The form begs for over-the-top. Excellent. (K)
I’m glad you think it worked 🙂
I know about losing face Jane, but oh so unnerving. This piece haunts.
Ha ha! Not quite the same thing, is it?
Those ending lines kick me with gasp of horror. Well done with the tale of the lady of the night.
Thank you, Grace 🙂
WOW.
That line is truly brilliant, I think.
-David
Thank you, David. Nothing carries like the sound of a child crying.
Very Gothic. It reminds me of Poe!
Thank you. Poe I always think is pretty camp too 🙂
Jane, you have captured these dark moments so well. And the rhythm only adds to the darkness.
I enjoyed the humor and rhythm here. Those last two lines are chilling and ends this tale nicely! 👏
Thanks Tricia. I find the vampire damsel scenario hard to take completely seriously 🙂
Very gothic, and for me perfectly arranged with your poem. Michael
Thank you, Michael! Glad you think so 🙂
Honestly i am not really in “gothic!”. But this one is very great. Thank you, Jane!
I’m pleased you like it! Gothic isn’t my thing either, but I like a good story poem 🙂