This is for Ingrid’s EIF challenge. It’s a long time since I wrote a villanelle. Now I remember why…
Taking ship when the grey gulls call
With all the many things still left to do,
Before the night falls, bringing final dreams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,
I let the seconds diamond-drip like dew.
Words wait, ink-dry, to fill white paper, reams,
With all the many things left still to do.
We planted roses, thought that when they grew,
Their blooms would fill the house’s cracking seams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,
But their boughs are frail, and the changing hue
Of rainbows fading shows how water teems
With all the many things left still to do.
I’d memorise the thrush’s song, build blue-
Skied worlds with sunset words and golden beams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,
For there is no time to start the world anew,
Nor chase the river where the far sea gleams,
With all the many things left still to do.
The balance tips, desires, plans askew;
We fill our hands with memories and streams
Of all the many things left still to do,
Before the ship takes us where grey gulls flew.
Beautiful poetry Jane. I’m at times distracted by your intro.
Nothing should come before your beautiful words.
It’s hard to get the new editor to do spaces. I’ve thought that too, that the spiel at the beginning sometimes looks like part of the poem. I’ll try to remember to stick it at the end.
I think that would work … as I said, your poetry is always the centerpiece of beauty and there should be no distraction.
Thanks for pointing it out 🙂
The worst thing though is the ads. I never see what WP does on my posts, but on other blogs, I have seen poems cut in half by an ad which is grotesque.
I had to purchase the “personal” blog from WP. The ads were always a nuisance on the free blog but now you are right they are placing them right in the middle of posts ( at times they are extremely unpleasant) I think it’s a means to force one to buy in. It cost me $48.00 yearly so I gave in. 😒
There are lots of things you can’t do now unless you pay. They make money running the ads; they could at least put them at the end of a post.
Yes, they used to, they are really pushing it!
Anything to make more.
Yes, that’s pretty shoddy though. Right in the middle of one’s poetry or writing!
The first time I saw an ad in a poem I didn’t realise the poem wasn’t finished. It wasn’t even a poem with stanzas. They just ‘interrupted this poem’ to stick in an ad and the poem was resumed lower down the page. Crass.
Absolutely, all to get you to upgrade.
Very unsubtle tactics.
Ill say !
The spacing looks fine to me, but you can add a spacer. It’s in the list of options, like image, gallery, etc.
Oh, thanks for the tip. I’ll look for it. Never thought to look for it among the ‘tools’.
I just click the little + sign box and it’s one of the choices that comes up.
In the paragraph option?
Maybe? 🙂
I did fiddle with that and nothing seemed to change.
Just lovely, Jane. ‘With all the many things left still to do’ I’m pleased ypu found the time to write a villanelle 😊
Thanks Ingrid. It took a while to fiddle it into place. The original Rubix Cube poem!
There’s a dreamy, almost melancholy feel to this, but it’s lovely. I’ve only written a few villanelles. This is a good one!
Thank you. I’m glad you found it dreamy. The hard part with these I find is keeping on subject when there’s the rhyme to fit in and the refrain line. It’s easy to wander.
Yes. There’s so much to keep track with–I think Sarah did a template for it.
I make a list of all the rhymes I can think of, a bit like giving myself a tile of magnetic words to pick from. Saves time later 🙂
I’ve done that, too. (Of course I have. ) 😀
It’s like checking the map before you set off. (I know, some people have GPS now but we don’t) 🙂
😀 I’m not good at reading maps.
Me neither. If there’s one thing that starts rows here it’s my navigation skills (zero)
I also have no spatial sense.
Funny (not) 🙂
It is kind of funny. My husband laughs because I have to do all sorts of mental gymnastics to figure out how sections of the basement line up with other parts of the house. 🤣
Oh that is so familiar! Mine talks about parts of the attic by saying where they are in relation to the barn or the chimney or the study and I go upstairs look around and haven’t got a clue where he means. Sometimes I can’t find my way out of the bedroom in the dark and have to shout for help.
Hahahaha. I guess we really are the same person! 🤣
We had our eldest here today with her partner. They were a bit late because they had had to take a different route for some reason a lot of the exits from Bordeaux were blocked, and Marthe was navigating and she got right and left mixed up. She admitted that she always gets right and left mixed up. All eyes turned to me. Husband said, it runs in the family…
It’s possible that some of it runs in the family here, too. 🤣🤣🤣
A hereditary problem with the seahorse in the brain.
😀
I like the way the rhythm ebbs and flows like the sea, and I especially like the last stanza. I haven’t written a villanelle in a long time either. Every week it seems I do less and less. (K)
Thank you. I hadn’t written one in ages either, and I think it will be a long time before I write another one.
You probably do just as much but of different things. We need to prioritise. Villanelles probably aren’t very high on the list.
Not at the moment.
I vote for you!
Aw! I’m pleased you like it. Villanelles are hard work!
Stunning 💜
Thank you, Willow xx
A pleasure
Congratulations Jane: https://experimentsinfiction.com/2021/01/14/eif-poetry-challenge-13-the-results/
Thanks Ingrid!
You’re welcome! If you’re prepared to judge next week’s challenge, that would be great! Just drop me a line at experimentsinfiction@protonmail.com
I’ll do that.
Thank you!
‘the original rubix cube’ 🙂 – so true!
congratulations!
Thank you! I got all the colours on one side at least 🙂
they peel off (apparently). though it’s probably less fiddly to actually do the blooming thing 🙂
I’d never have thought of that! Could explain a lot about my current situation 🙂
🙂