Things I have decided today

I will write nothing new
until someone accepts that what is already
is good enough.

I will unpick and rewrite
turn the angle of the mirror
until a reflection smiles back.

Writing courses, editors, conferences,
and other events are for those with time and money.
I’ll be the thief who finds the back door open.

Hyperbole is easy as smiling
but it’s not a substitute for criticism.
Bite every coin before accepting it.

Inside my head there is a head
beating against a wall
but the same words keep falling out.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

71 thoughts on “Things I have decided today”

      1. No, but I’m not ‘finishing’ anything anymore. When it’s finished, the soul-destroying part begins, trying to get an agent or a publisher interested. I’m going to do a Penelope from now on. Unpick it every night so it’s never finished.

      2. Because if you don’t spend a fortune on advertising and promotion, an editor, a cover, and keep throwing your time and money at it, you won’t sell anything. And you don’t get self-published books in book shops.

      3. Thanks Willow. It’s a kind thought, but I’m not exactly well-placed to do the door-to-door of bookshops. The nearest one to me is 35kms away and I don’t think they’d be very interested in an unknown book in English 🙂

  1. Your writing is better than many who were in my MFA program years ago. I only attended because I had it paid from hubby’s GI Bill, haha! Reading poetry here on WordPress has really helped improve my own writing. I get inspired by so many here! 💗

    1. Thank you! It’s kind of you to say so. I’m very sceptical about writing courses but especially for poetry. You need a rich word pool and an original way of using what you fish out. Can’t teach originality. Seems to me like another way for people to make a living out of writers who will never earn anything. Reading other poets/writers and seeing how they do it seems like the only valid way to learn.

      1. Most of my courses involved the art of writing short stories and flash fiction. I only took one poetry class. We did read great writers constantly which helped. Then it was about reading each other and giving feedback. It was a lot of fun and did help me with the “literary” style, but really I like my own style and have been writing more science fiction when it comes to short stories.

      2. I studied literature, and criticising and understanding great works is I suppose, very close to learning how to do it yourself. With writing prose, there are a few writer friends who write as well as many best sellers but not necessarily the right thing at the right time. I trust them to give constructive criticism. If you can recognise your own style then I think you’re almost there 🙂

      3. They only want what they’re almost certain they can sell to a publisher who’ll pay them a nice advance and publishers only want what they’re certain they can sell. They don’t waste their time with mss that they have to sell.

      4. Yes, it’s harder with poetry too. I think some publishers only want a certain style or maybe it’s even about promoting a certain type of author (they want marginalized voices). I haven’t even submitted that much of my poetry professionally. It does seem to be an uphill climb for sure!

      5. No, I don’t submit to poetry publishers either. Often it’s as you say, you have to be marginalised in a particular way, as if being female and poor isn’t marginal enough. Usually you have to show your published credetials too, have been published in high profile magazines. I’ve self-pubbed two small collections of poetry because it’s easy and the few people who matter have bought copies. That’s enough for me.

      6. I agree hundred percent with you.
        Though the idea of seeing my name in print entices me from time to time, and believe me when I say I don’t write to earn, I don’t find the seduction strong enough to spend money that I don’t have for self publishing.
        Who knows one day I may succumb to the temptations and come out a sucker.

      7. It’s not the seeing your name in print that matters. Anyone can do that. Just write a pile of shite and self-publish it. What’s an insurmountable problem if you have no money is getting anyone to even notice that you’ve written a book. I read yesterday that for a literary agent to consider taking on a self-published book they want to see sales figures of between 30,000 and 50,000 copies. That means that even if you’ve sold 50k copies you’ve not made enough money for your book to have paid many of the bills. You’ve spent so much on advertising and selling at 0 or just for a few cents that it’s hard to even break even. It’s heartbreaking when you put so much of yourself into the writing. I’d never go down that route again.

      8. Ah no, I meant a novel. Self-publishing a collection of poems is easy. I’ve done that. It’s enough satisfaction to have them in print and know that the few people you care about will have read them. Poetry publishers only accept poets with a good track record of published poetry, so that lets me out!

      9. “Self-publishing a collection of poems is easy”. – I did not know that. I am always apprehensive about self-publishing though my betterhalf is pushing me to do it.
        Is there a way that I can contact you other than through WordPress to get some guidance?

  2. I really love this. I resonate with 1 the most especially in terms of people who just dislike my writing no matter what I do; and I thought I was my own worst critic. 😂

    5 is a reality too. I feel like there’s limited ways to create something truly original. We borrow from older poems we wrote, we learn from poets long gone, we see how people write and mix words like a cocktail. I think that’s where the influence comes from, and once we find a style we like, we get comfortable in it that maybe one day it feels trapping. Idk if that makes sense, but just my thoughts there.

    Beautifully written, Jane. I find this uplifting, especially with escaping writing courses. I have felt that way before about other things I’ve tried, just going through that back door when I can’t take it lol.

    1. I keep poetry and prose in separate compartments. They don’t come from the same place,and I don’t try to commercialise my poetry. Poetry is personal, and I’m not convinced it can be taught. You can either do it or you can’t, and it doesn’t matter what other people say. It’s not the same with prose. I put years of my life into writing and researching novels, and I know that a lot of stuff that’s published isn’t very good, but it all comes down to how certain publishers are that they’re going to get back what they spend on the hype. Fashion.

  3. After Writing 10 Years and 8 Months Online in 2 Days for
    That Anniversary Date of Months (128) on 7.25.2021 That Amasses
    Close to 13 MiLLioN Words Without Missing A Consecutive Day

    Through All Kind of
    Weathers And Beyond
    Horrifying Illness the Last
    95 Months And 9.5 MiLLioN
    Words of it Since Getting Out
    of Shut-in Hell For 66 Months Since
    8.18.2013 All Those 9.5 MiLLioN Words

    A Longest EPiC

    Long Form Poem

    Hehe the Size of

    my Whole Blog

    Equivalent Size of
    Close to 12 King James
    Sized Bibles Of Course mine
    Fully Illustrated with Over 100,000
    Photos and Over 10,000 You Tube
    Songs to Accompany As Themes
    for Moods Coming to Page…

    What i’ve Determined Is

    Some Folks Write/Art

    to Publish/Art Soul

    And Other

    Folks Hope

    To Put Their Words/Art

    ‘Bound in A Book’ While
    Being Concerned About
    Copyrights And The Such

    When A Soul Is A Finger Print
    in Style of Words On Page That

    May Be Copied A Zillion Times

    Yet Never Truly Owned By Anyone
    Yet Original Soul Authors of Words/Art…

    Of Course, Unless Someone’s Form from
    Before is Used As Template For Soul…

    i Feel Like Many Of the

    of the Past

    Would Have




    At the

    to Write Just

    For Spirit Free

    Of Connecting to the
    Soul of Poetry/Art in Voices
    All Around An Entire Globe…

    Or At Least too Busy to Try to Sell Their Soul…

    (Of Course, if They Were Financially Independent)

    A Never Ending Passion, A “SaiL oN LoVE NoW”…

    Of Course Views Vary Dear Irish FRiEnD Jane As Long

    as i am

    i BREaTHE Free..:)

    1. I have about 1.5 million words (so way behind you) some are good, many are not, but the good ones are bits of me something special I created. I write because it’s something I can do, that I’m good at, but the bills don’t pay themselves. It would be nice if what I loved and shaped could pay the bills. I write for lots of reasons, but I persist because so do the bills…

      1. SMiLes Dear Jane As So Many Folks Do i Sacrificed Most of
        My Life So One Day The God of this World Money Would
        No Longer Rule my World i Just didn’t Know What Else to Do….

        Except For Perhaps my Own Style of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ To Come True…

        Yes, i Needed A Nap So i Dreamed i was Holding Yellow Boy
        In New York City Where Large Electronic Parts Of A Media
        System Were Falling Off Tallest Skyscrapers My Sister
        Was Holding Yellow Boy Our Feral Cat Who Passed
        Away in January of 2019 i Took Him

        Into My Arms Traveling

        Home as i Was

        Afraid He

        Would Be

        Harmed in a
        Place Like That

        Perhaps Lost and
        Never Found Again…

        Then i Found Myself Home

        In A Huge Four Wheel Drive

        Truck Oh Lord my Mother Was Alive
        Again Driving Me Past Several Cemetaries

        She Couldn’t See Out of One Eye traveling
        Down the Road to Take me Back to my Down
        Town Home on The River Bank ‘Mama i Just

        i Just Killed A Man’ He Was the Man Before
        i Became the Man Reborn i am Now i am

        No Longer A Poor Boy i Am Rich

        With the Three Year

        Old Child

        Before i Became
        Lost in Human Words
        Stick Man Tools With no

        Soul Tied to A Desk For A
        Golden Grade of Zero Sum Game in Competition

        Of A Never Ending Game A Highway to Hell then…

        Zero Sum Games So Many Folks Play Until Born Again…

        Just A Child

        Free With

        Eyes of Creativity…

        SMiLes Jane You May Ask
        My Wife Harsh Task Master
        i Was For Decades A Budget
        to Buy of 75 Dollars A Week
        On the Autism Spectrum With
        A Balance of Bi-Polar Disorder i
        Had No Choice Yet to Save For A
        Rainy Day For The Storms i Barely

        Survived Before

        She Came Along

        How In the Hell
        i’m Even Alive Biggest
        Surprise oF ALL my FRiEnD

        Where 66 Months in Hell on Earth
        Worth my Independence Fully From
        The God of Green Paper Dolls Dead Yes, Just Yes, my
        FRiEnD Whatever it took to Kill That Man From Before


        Still Do
        Of Course Still
        A Bit to my Wife’s
        Chagrin i Have Enough
        Whole Complete i Am Love

        No Longer A Poor Boy Then Not Even A Man At all..:)

      2. You’re a monument to just doing what has to be done and not worrying about the rest. It’s pride too. When you think you’ve done something good you want praise. We’re all kids at heart. I am anyway 🙂

      3. SMiLes Dear Jane Not Nearly The Monument to What Has to Be Done
        Versus Struggles of My Ancestors For Sure As When i note i’ve Danced
        in Public 15,166 Miles for the Last 95 Months to Muse A Greater
        Autotelic Flow in Moving Meditation For Creativity

        To Explode

        As Honey

        Makes A
        River What it Does in Ease…

        That’s Only An Average of 160 Miles
        A Month Just A Bit Over 5 Miles A Day

        Whereas my Maternal Grandmother Worked
        7 Days A Week Single Divorced Mother As A Waitress
        12 Hours A Day For Close to A Decade Walking to Work
        Each Day Worn Out in Her 50’s Fortunately My Mother Who

        Carried A Similar

        Load Able to

        Help Her ease into
        Social Security Age
        As We Did for my Mother too…

        Not to Lie Dealing With The Suicide
        Disease Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
        From Wake to Sleep No Drug Would Touch
        With A Synergy of 18 Other Life Threatening
        Disorders Wasn’t That Easy For 66 Months as
        A Shut-In in my Bedroom Yet My Mother, My Grandmother

        Nor Anyone Else

        i Know Has

        Tasted the

        Flavor of Heaven
        on Earth i Verily Have
        for the Last 8 Years i will only

        Credit Those Who Came Before
        And Those Who Still Do For Preparing a Way…

        What Else Could Even ‘Jesus’ Do Returning This
        Way If He Could Be Real Except for Saying Thank You…
        For me at Least DarK Thru LiGHT i’ve Learned By Experience
        It’s All One Play to Do… “Strikes And Gutter-balls, Ups and Downs” It is
        Waves High Waves Low Night And Day Kiss DarK And LiGHT to Create


        And Make
        Believe Now Exists..:)

      4. The only thing Jesus did for me was die. How that helps I don’t understand, but I feel sorry for him. It was a nice thought, but really, I’d rather he hadn’t bothered, just married a nice girl and given his poor mother and father a bit of joy.

      5. SMiles At This Point
        Its Changed into
        A Story that

        The Story Was

        Built HiStorically For

        Empires to Subjugate,
        Master, Control, Oppress
        Expand, Destroy

        And Conquer

        A System
        Of Lies

        The Older
        Texts Are
        Not Much

        Than Any
        Other Appeal
        For A Life of
        One With Naked
        Nature Away From
        What Divides Us As
        Humans And Binds


        All The CuLTuRaL
        Tools We Become

        SMiles Jane Most
        Everything i Need
        To Feel And Sense

        Is Built
        In As the
        Nature i Am

        Humans DisGuise
        That With Many
        Tools to Compete


        Others Ironically
        Now Technology
        Allows Us To More



        Out of
        Our Life
        Unless Technology
        Becomes A “CuLTuRaL
        Constructed GoD”




        And Masters
        Us too A Balance
        It Is Life is The Story

        We Write, Direct,
        Play, And Act

        Key is


        Our Own

        Story Or Like So
        Many Are Mastered
        By A Story oF iGNoRaNCE

        Like Worshipping
        The After Life More
        Than Life And An All
        Loving Forgiving Merciful
        God That Tortures Enemies


        There Are “Greater”
        “Silence of The Lambs

        Stories” Yet
        Some Still
        Follow Great
        Ignorance in


        oF LiGHT….

        Placebo Effect
        Is Real Wafers of
        Bread May Be Effectively

        Used As Sugar

        Pills As Stories

        May Be

        Used Effectively
        The Same By Symbols

        Too Doubt The Power
        Of Belief As Essence
        Of Human Nature

        And Fall
        To Another
        Folly of the
        Overall Human Story

        SMiles Dear Jane
        i Use the Tools of


        Proven That
        Work The Effective


        Are Just
        Plain Awesome
        With SMiles my FRiEnD

        At Core
        An Autotelic
        Meditative Flow

        Keeps Me IN

        Real Heaven

        Within Now

        Still Lots of
        Clues This
        Is Real


        Old Poetry
        Too In Essence
        Of The Meditative
        FLoWinG Autotelic

        For Real




        Just Fumes🌈🏝☺️

      6. I have one question for believers. Why did God create Homo sapiens sapiens 300,000 years ago and wait 297,000 years to whisper hello to the leader of a nomadic tribe in a desert on the edge of civilisation?

        I know why poetry, music, colour, forests and oceans but I don’t know why we need the hypothesis of God.

      7. Hehe Depends in
        Which “Believer”

        You Ask
        Dear Jane
        A Franciscan
        Monk Richard


        And So
        Called Saint
        Francis Relate

        Sister Moon

        And Brother


        And Stars
        And Galaxies
        And Beyond


        As Essence of
        All That is Vibration

        Frequency And Energy

        With No
        Words And
        Surely No





        Of Words

        On A Beach Alone
        Without Essence of Breath
        Vibrations Frequencies





        Of All That
        Is Relates Nature

        In Words of The Gospel
        Of Thomas Strip Off
        All The Clothes

        With Naked

        No Shame
        Tread on All
        Man Mades Clothes

        (Finding Living
        One Within Now)

        Including Words of
        Course The Oldest

        Of Culture


        Of All That is…

        Stories Vary Dear
        Jane Nature Remains


        Of Dance And
        Song Move Repose

        KiSSinG LiGHT 💡



        Ask ‘Tesla’
        And Not the Car
        Or Just The Vehicle
        The Vessel The Shell 🐚

      8. And the nautilus sings
        to the spiral arms of the galaxies
        that spin on the axis
        of the universe
        in the eternal darkness
        of the ceaseless sea of time.

        Forever and forever

      9. “And the nautilus sings
        to the spiral arms of the galaxies
        that spin on the axis
        of the universe
        in the eternal darkness
        of the ceaseless sea of time.

        Forever and forever


        SMiLes Dear
        Jane Born on


        Three Similar
        Nautilus Shell
        Symbols Also

        Embossed on
        3 Degrees Still
        On My Desk As
        “Build Thee More
        Stately Mansions”
        By Oliver Wendell
        Holmes The Motto
        And Logo Of The

        Of West Florida
        Although Its Changed
        Now to A Bloody Sword
        Bearing Argonaut


        The University
        Acquired A New
        National Champion
        Football Team As
        Just Another


        Tribal Religion
        Bearing Swords
        For Lifelong


        Brain Injuries

        To Play Football



        School Buildings

        Hmm… The Prostitution

        Never Ends Yet A

        Prayer Of


        6’s Still Begins
        Only A Mark

        Of Another



        Nature’s Beasts…

        Amen Amen

        i Dance
        Furry Free

        The Beast
        i AM Not

        to Be

        i Am Now 🌟
        Again This Just
        Fumes Gaseous


        Left As Shell 🐚

      10. HeHeHe Jane Considering the ‘Triskelion” Nature of Our
        Brain Father Authoritarian Reptile Brain ReaSons SeeKinG
        Finding Neo-Cortical Brain And At Best Loving Holy Spirit
        of Our Limbic System Brain Really

        Really Connecting

        Us to Each Other

        And The Rest of Nature

        Oh If Only i Have Three Legs

        Too How Much Easier it May Be

        To Spiral Dance in Slow Mo to

        Gain So Much More



        In Life As All

        Of Nature Spirals

        At Best in Balance

        This Way At Core of
        What Even Science Sees
        As Sub-Particles of Nuclear
        Energy Now With More SMiLes
        Anyway While Yes the ‘Beware of
        The Locals’ Still Vaccinated at Less
        That 40 Percent Were Buying Away
        All the ‘Goods’ At “Ross Dress For Less”

        All My FoCuS ON A Spiraling Dance All
        Three Human Brains in Flow of More Potential in Creativity…
        Plus it helps to Have A Feature on the iPhone to SLoW iT ALL Down…

        HeHeHe Anyway my Two Arms Seem to Serve A Purpose of A Third Leg

        For A


        Triskelion Dance..;)

      11. HeaLeD Feet Dancing On
        Land Terrestrial Starring

        Balance is Key to Moving
        Pyramids 1 In A Billion More
        Parts of Matter Versus Anti-Matter

        Creating All Of Existence We Understand Now

        A Free
        SPiRiT Now

        Moving in Balance

        Otherwise HeHE All 244 Pounds
        of my Body Anchored on Land

        Sails Move me in Balance “SaiL oN LoVE”

        Dear Jane As LonG As Meditation Moves
        me in Flow i Am Wings Without A Body

        Within Inside



        Of Less

        Than One

        Finger my FRiEnD
        iN MiND And BoDY Balance
        Whole SoUL SPiRiT HeART Enough Complete
        As Is JusT A Free Tree Of Life Spreading Roots
        Vines Same Above So Below All Around Now…

        It’s A Same Way i Still Leg Press Up to 1520
        Pounds at 61 Years-Old With My Arms Raised
        To The Sky i Simply Empty mY UNiVeRSE At FeaT oF Ease…

        Hehe Can You imagine How Hilarious it is to See A 61 Year-Old
        Dude Warming Up With Free Style Ballet in Front of Everyone
        in A Military Gym Before Doing That Dead Pan Face Laughing Hilarious Within



        Just DanCinG
        Away From the
        Whole FeaT ALWaYS
        Like it is Nothing At All…

        Precisely A Way A Whole UNiVeRSE
        Starts According to Stephen HawKinG
        And Some Quantum Mechanics Physicists
        Suggesting New UNiVeRSES Are Born Out of
        BLacK HoleS in Balance of Spin And Torsion of Stars…

        TRuE Dear Jane THeRE May Be More to This Dance Than Meets Most EYeS…
        Yet THiS oNLY oF A SToRY A SonG Approximating A Dance For Real NoW..:)

      12. I self-identify as a 36 year-old.
        I would like to add
        a comfortably off 36 year-old with a house that’s warm in winter.

        But it’s not allowed.
        That’s age and wealth appropriation
        and someone will be offended.


        I wouldn’t go to the gym not even to dance.
        I dance in the bedroom
        with the window open to a meadow
        and at the far side a hedge
        where warblers sing.

      13. Hehe Currently
        Dancing Naked
        In The Forest

        (my Backyard)

        Dear Jane

        With My
        Fence Birds Squirrels
        Bees All Trees Still


        All i
        Do i Disgust
        And DeLiGHT

        Folks With
        my Public Dance
        In Trump/Jesus
        Town USA i Identify
        As 16


        i Get Away
        With it As
        A 61 Year-Old
        Who Might Hit
        A Home Run on
        The First Baptist
        Softball Team
        (If i Ever Played)

        Or An Undercover
        Security Dude In
        Walmart to Catch
        A Thief As True



        Theories Are

        Circulated About
        me Too Yawn Naked
        Dance With Nature


        Favorite iNdeed🐝🎶

        It’s Thundering



        i’ll Retire

        To The

        Desk Top
        Computer Again



        i Get Thunderstruck

        With What

        Comes Before That🏝

      14. Run from the anger of the storm clouds and the anger of the Bible thumpers retreat to the sanity of four sainted walls and turn the dance music up high 🙂

      15. SMiLes Dear Jane Your Words ‘Prophetic’ As i Turned
        Up the ‘Sheep’ Song off of ‘Pink Floyd’s “Animals” Album
        Back From the 70’s

        When i Barely

        Slept At Night

        Kept Awake by
        Psychedelic Music
        Bringing That Extending
        Human Conscious Realm
        To Expressions of MuSiC
        And Lyrics For ‘The Consumer’

        To Relate Yes All Sober Within Four
        Saintly Walls With A Ceiling too Until
        The Music and Lyrics of ‘the Floyd’ Takes

        Ya Beyond
        All confining
        Limits of Before…

        Anyway The ‘Sheep’ Song
        So Apt For ‘Minions’ and the
        “Pigs” Song So Apt for the ‘Despicable’
        Leaders As The Whole Show Based
        on Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ Comes to

        Play in my

        Now too Oh Yes

        Of Course Prophecies
        Are Only Self-Fulfilling
        Recurring Individual and
        Group Human Archetypes

        Story Exists First Then Written
        Down Instance After Instance the
        Waves Still Play Ocean Whole For All to

        See And

        Be And

        Play again…

        With Understanding
        of Human And Nature
        Comes Freedom From the
        Chains People Put themselves in
        From Group Think Truly An Outcast
        Has An Advantage Escaping the Animal Farm Now..;)

      16. By Putting Humankind
        Above Beyond
        Rest of


        We Humans
        Piss On Nature
        Through Our



        Through Our




        Too the Other
        Animals Only


        To Exist
        Naked Enough
        With Nature in Balance
        And They Shall Inherit


        Brings… Existence…

      17. I hope when we are gone
        with our wars and iphones
        plastic packaging and burgers
        there will still be life
        waiting to reclaim
        a small gentle existence.

      18. SMiLes Dear Jane Considering That the United
        States Consumes 40 Percent of Human Resources
        From the Environment With 4 Percent of the Population

        It’s No Wonder That A People Living So Far Out of Balance
        With the Rest of Nature Can’t Even Figure Out, So many of

        Them You Get Vaccinated

        During A Deadly and

        Changing Phasing

        Pandemic as

        New Variants

        Continue to Become
        Resurrected For Humans
        Who Don’t Even Have Enough
        Agency And Common Sense to
        Save Their Potential Lives With
        Such A Free Part of Health Maintenance

        Considering Even The Governor From Alabama
        Considers A Majority of Her Constituents As Basically
        Too Ignorant to Take Responsibility For Themselves


        The Rest of the
        Plant/Animal Kingdom
        Will Yes Rise Again in the
        South too Before All the Ignorance
        Harming, Raping, Maiming Killing As A Self
        Fulfilling Comes Back To Haunt Those Who Harmed

        The Rest of

        As Surely
        They Are Feeling
        A Bit of Nature’s Equalizing
        Pressures in Balance Dooms Day If Necessary

        On Local


        Of Schools, Work,
        And Colleges From the
        Old Deepest South STiLL Now Real..:)

  4. I love the beating the head against the wall and the words falling out. I think we write because we must, it’s what we are meant to do. I love your work, and look forward to reading much more of it.

  5. My daughter and I were just discussing this today. We had no solutions. Promotion is a much larger piece of success than the worth of the writing or art. It’s also often who you know. There’s so much garbage too–how can anyone even find the gems? (K)

    1. I think success is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Publishers pay a big advance for a handful of books they think they can sell if they hype up. So they hype and hype sells. It might not last long if the book’s not that good, but the first flush of enthusiasm pays off. People will buy anything if the shop windows are full of that one thing and nothing else. It’s sad, but that’s how we work. If sheep could read…

      1. Yes I was just reading about “best sellers” and how those are the only books most people ever know about. And thus the only books they ever read.

      2. Yes, so a handful of authors sell hundreds of thousands of copies and the rest of the publisher’s ‘stable’ a fraction of that because there’s not enough in the publicity budget for everyone.

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