After writing a Minute poem, which was okay as far as it went, I thought I’d extend the idea to make a true ballad form.

The changeling
They came and stole my child away,
on silent feet,
that flew so fleet,
they came and stole my child away,
one bright and sunny day.
They’d cast a spell upon my sleep,
the crib they found,
made not a sound,
they’d cast a spell upon my sleep,
I dreamed in shadows deep.
I dreamt I saw a fairy host,
with faces bright,
that lit the night,
I dreamt I saw a fairy host
that stole what I loved most.
And when at last I raised my head,
saw gold-bright hair,
a sea-blue stare,
and when at last I raised my head,
my heart was filled with dread.
Yet sometimes on a midnight clear
I hear my child,
so free and wild,
yet sometimes on a midnight clear,
her happiness I hear.
My fairy child you’ll have no throne,
gold in your hair,
nor gold to wear,
my fairy child you’ll have no throne,
but I will love you as mine own.
I like this extended into a ballad. The repetition and the poignant story are just right.
I’m glad you think so. To my ear, there’s a line too many in the minute poem. The third line of two beats unbalances it.
I thought your poem was fine, but I wasn’t crazy about the rhythm of the minute poems, in general. They sound kind of choppy to me.
It doesn’t have a a good rhythm to it, too many short lines. Also, like all those short syllable counting poems, we fixate on the number of syllables and ignore the beats. I don’t see the point of that.
😀
Choppy’s a technical term. 😀
Well, it’s apt here 🙂
😀
Oh Jane, this is lovely – all your poems are, but definitely that last bit got to me the most. (I wrote you a long email update a few weeks ago, I think it might have showed up in your spam mail since I didn’t hear back, spam! HAHAHA) I hope you’re doing well!
Shuku-Li! Thank you 🙂 Good to know you’re still there. I’m sorry your mail didn’t get to me. If you sent it to the dbmail address it doesn’t work anymore. Try janedougherty33@gmail.com
Oh THAT’S why it never got to you! Alright, yes I have resent it! ❤ YAY NOW I have your updated email!
Yes, I got a virus on Outlook and I couldn’t open it without all my internet connections crashing. It had already gone into hibernation anyway, not letting me send mails. I daren”t even open it to see if I still have an account!
I’ve read your mail (it got here) and I’ll get back to you after lunch. Thanks for persevering 🙂
Yes, just right. I agree about the rhythm of the minute poem–this is much more suited the story. And wonderful painting (as usual). (K)
It’s true, there’s nothing in the rules of the minute poem that says it has to have a rhythm, but when you can make a clunky line scan just by changing the words, why wouldn’t you? The rhythm you get with the minute poem is an odd one though to my ear.
I like this painting. It isn’t specifically a changeling child, but it could be.
Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
I love the ballad, and the repetition sounds very well. xx Michael
Thank you 🙂 I’m fond of this style too.
brilliant, fairy host… reminds me of Yeats…also Shakespeare….all kinds of changling stories in lit.
Yes, you can’t think ‘changeling’ without thinking Yeats! I think it’s a shame this style of simple, effective story-telling is so despised by the poetry establishment.
I didn’,t know it was despised…but then I’m not aware of any poetry community
Try sending a poem like that to a literary magazine and they wouldn’t even laugh at you. Bin.
😯😯
This reads so beautifully, the rhymes so pleasing to the ear. 🙂
I’m pleased you think so 🙂
🙂