A prompt asking for use of repetition is a prompt for me. This one is for NaPoWriMo 2022 day 22.
Morning questions
These days that should be full of light,
begin in rain, begin in grey,
and grow in grey though birds still sing,
the cuckoos and the orioles
among the trees down by the stream,
a spring of blackbirds in the hedge.
Deep night time dark is full of song,
the nightingales that never sleep,
beneath a sky where stars are blind,
and blind the world of men to what’s
above and round about and in
the blood that flows beneath the skin.
Will we always live in grey,
the half-lit hues not night nor day
and claim we bask beneath the sun?
The sun looks down, the stars, the moon,
they see the trenches full of blood,
then, sighing, look the other way.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
Lovely and entrancing rhythm which lulled me until the last line hit me.
Thank you! I’m glad that was how you read it. It’s what I intended (and not everybody hears rhythm) xx
I love this, Jane! 💕🙂
Beautiful– I love the way the meter kind of creeps up on you.
Thank you. I’m pleased you like the rhythm. I wanted a gentle flow rather than an obvious jingle.
There’s a sad, elegant beauty to this. Really lovely–then the tragedy of the ending. The rhythm is perfect. 😊
Thank you! It probably sounds like a funny thing to say, but I think in rhythm often and very often when I’m thinking around a poem. The ending is the general mood.
You’re welcome. Not funny at all. I think I often do, too, even if it doesn’t come out that way on the page. 😊
Is it because we think poetry when we’re out walking? The words fit the rhythm of the steps.
I don’t think so for me. I just hear it in my head a certain way.
It’s the noise in the head, whether we’re in motion of seated, I suppose.
I suppose so. 😊
Beautiful piece, Jane! I especially love stanzas three and four and that ending that broke my heart.💜🍃
I’m pleased you liked this. It’s tragic how little we understand about anything.
Congratulations on the feature! So well-deserved.💜🍃
Thank you!
Such a gentle flow, Jane and then the heartbreaking ending.
I’m glad you like the flow. I’d hoped it would come across as gentle, despite the tragic ending.
Melancholy and dreamy at the same time. The grey does seem to permeate everything right now. There’s a weariness. (K)
It’s pouring with rain now. April has been dreary and it’s usually my favourite month. Yes, weariness.
Congratulations! on the NaPoWriMo nod. And (as always) well deserved.
Thank you 🙂 I haven’t followed many of the prompts. Too much ‘fun’ for my current gloom. It’s lovely to get recognition though.
It is.
Achingly beautiful Jane. The ache lingers. The question that struck me was “…and claim we bask beneath the sun?” Why do we kid ourselves so?
Deep lines, gentle flow.
Visiting from: https://artismoments.blogspot.com/
I’m pleased you enjoyed it and listened to the questions. I’m not sure either why we deny evidence, science, proofs, just because we don’t like the truth. It’s what children do.
Absolutely superb, Jane!
Thank you! I’m pleased you like it. When I let my brain out of gear, thoughts drift along in a sleepy sort of rhythm. But the problems don’t ever go away.
I am so happy you were featured. After reading yesterday, it stayed with me. This poem is a spiritual teacher!
Thank you, Gloria! That’s a lovely thing to say, and such a compliment. I can’t bear to say nothing, but sounding preachy has the opposite effect to the one I hope for.
A rhythmic, gently sad poem. Lovely
Congratulations on being highlighted on NaPoWriMo
Thanks for writing
Thank you! I’m pleased the poem was chosen. It’s always a hard line to tread, between making a point and sounding moralistic.
Congratulations, Jane. So well-deserved. Few can surpass your gentle flow of words and the message within. As always, in awe of your writing. ❤️
That’s a lovely comment, Punam xx
I’m pleased this one was noticed, and that so many people enjoyed the rhythm of it.
You are so welcome, Jane. Always a pleasure. 🙂
xxx
Congratulations.
You deserve it !
Thank you! It was a lovely surprise 🙂
I agree with all of the above. The final stanza s really hit home, Jane.
Thanks Kim 🙂 I’m finding it very difficult to see much to smile about these days. Behind every bit of pleasure there’s the knowledge that so many lives are being destroyed.
Congratulations on being featured today, Jane…Sadly beautiful lines.
Thank you, Judy 🙂 I wish I was able to write without the shadow from that cloud.
The answer to the grey is in the bird songs. There are no grey days for those that have no need to create them.
No, you’re right, the colour of the light doesn’t matter. The birds don’t seem to care one way or the other.