After reading Kim Russell’s duplex sonnet, and seeing how something ‘poetic’ could be got out of it, I thought I’d give it another try. This is my version of it, for NaPoWriMo (again).
Where?
Where did it go,
the peace of evening glow?
At dusk the sky’s agleam,
reflected in the stream,
where mirror-silver runs with glitter,
shadowed by the flutter-flitter
of uneasy blackbird wings,
yet still he sings.
Birdsong fills the blowing trees,
whispering in the evening breeze,
the paper-rustle of evening sedge,
the gentle calm of winter’s edge.
Peace once fell after the snow,
where did it go?
Jane Dougherty Writes 
Beautiful rhyming in this one, Jane, and I love the descriptions of light, the sounds, and the inclusion of a blackbird – a very handsome one visited me this morning!
I’m glad I persevered. It isn’t much like the example poems, but I prefer this style.
We sleep with the window open so I hear the dawn chorus, and the blackbirds seem to drown out almost everything else.
They are very loud – but melodic.
My favourites, I think. With the golden orioles. I know nightingales have an extraordinary repertoire (and extraordinary stamina) but they sound so frantic compared with the blackbirds.
Beautiful. Subtle rhyming that doesn’t feel forced, and exquisitely visual.
I’m pleased you like it. I enjoy lyrical poetry, words, rhyme, rhythm. If it doesn’t ‘sound’ musical, it doesn’t interest me much.
I love this, vivid and beautifully rhythmic.
Thank you! Unorthodox, but I don’t care.
The internal rhythm and thyme in your verses is impeccable. Beautiful again.
I’m glad you like it. I know it’s not like anything Jericho Brown would write, but then why would I write like Jericho Brown? Our cultures are worlds apart.
Forms are just to guide our writing. Moreover it is not an exam where we are being tested for accuracy of form. You made it your own. 🙂
True. It’s good to be able to do it as required first though, before breaking the rules 🙂
Lol yes. 🙂
Where did it go? In the meantime, the birds…(K)
Always the birds to stitch things together.
This is lovely. The words are so melodic like water flowing.
Our poems are not alike, but we both begin with a question–and this time have very similar photos!
Thank you 🙂 I’ve just read yours and yes, the photos are so alike! Some of the words too. I didn’t stick very closely to the rules about repeating words, just repeated the image (sort of) which is cheating really. I couldn’t see how to get it to flow otherwise.
Yours definitely flows. 😊
Probably because I cheated 🙂
🤣