For the dverse prompt. Rarely have I wrangled a more difficult form.
New Year snow
The green of winter fields has gone,
no gleams, no sun-bright beams
reflected
in muddy puddles, pewter wan,
this new year seems
neglected.
Only ice-breath from this sky
freezes trees below
winter-stark.
Beneath the flakes, I wonder why
the purity of snow’s so
ghastly dark.
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Jane Dougherty Writes 
I guess the snow comes to help reflect what little light we do have in these dark winter days. Well done, Jane.
It certainly does that! At least when the sun comes out. Thanks Dwight 🙂
Ai consider this to be a strong critique of what is happening in the world today, when cold it is and even the lightness of intellect is blurred. Certainly, one must be alert. 🌷 (Ai understand it you master the form perfectly well.)
Thank you! Winter and its darkness can be a metaphor for many of our human doubts and disasters.
Just an aside, your English is so good, I was wondering if you used ‘Ai’ as the first personal pronoun intentionally, instead of ‘I’?
Ai do. For several reasons, though a good one is that aI am foreign to the “I”. 🙂 Writing formal, as when writing poetry, aI use “I”.
I don’t know how you manage to remember! In my head I pronounce Ai as the French aîe, associated with a sharp pain…
The year does seem neglected. And you seem to have mastered the form to my ear. (K)
It still sounds wonky to me. I think the description of 8 6 and 2-beat lines corresponding to 8 6 and 2 syllables is weird. It must be possible, but I’m not sure it would sound very good.
I enjoyed the concluding stanza. Beautifully expressed. 🙂
Thank you xxx
I agree I didn’t understand using “beat” instead of syllable. Why muddle things?
Not one I’ll be using for fun.
Its winter here so the images of pristine ice and cold resonate with me. Love words: pewter wan, ice-breath and winter stark.
Thanks Grace. I had real trouble with this form. The Shadow Poetry description seems to mix up syllables and beats. I went for 4 3 2 beats but that doesn’t match the syllable count so I haven’t got it right.
Conveys that confusing and somber feeling of January very well. I really like that ending!
Thank you! I thought the ending was the best part of the poem. Not a form I enjoyed 🙂
You say that you didn’t enjoy but you’ve surely done justice to the prompt, dear Jane! But, I admit, it’s a tough form 😀
It’s kind of you to say so 🙂 I read very few mementos that I’d actually call poems. It’s such an awkward form and the results reflect this!
I include my own effort in the awkward squad too btw 🙂
This is exquisitely done, Jane! I resonate with; “Only ice-breath from this sky freezes trees below winter-stark.” ❤️❤️
Thank you, Sanaa. This was not an easy one to hatch 🙂
Really, Jane? I would never have thought so – your piece flows beautifully (and conveys emotion very effectively)!
❤
David
It’s true, and I’m sure what I ended up with isn’t strictly what was intended, but I’m glad you like it xxx
Since you’re here, I can tell you that your poem made me smile. Yes, start with the sauvignon and pursue with the merlot. Your poem stuck to the syllable count better than mine did 🙂
🤗
Your comment about how difficult it was made me want to try it. And it is difficult! 🙂
But yours flows. “ice-breath from the sky” sounds like an Oracle phrase
Thank you 🙂 I gave up trying to work out the syllable/beat thing, which doesn’t make sense to me. I’m glad you think the result flows though. I’ll blame the Oracle of the number of syllables is out 🙂
You’re welcome. 🙂
I went with syllables, as that was what the examples seemed to do. Still a challenge though!
Your poem is heartbreaking. It makes me upset and furious that there are more and more ugly people coming out of the woodwork and denying it ever happened. And if it did, they deserved it.
Thank you.
Yes, I agree. Yes, deniers that it happened, and also people who don’t think it’s such a tragedy.
Far too many of both still hogging the media centre stage.
Yes. 😡
I read this less about literal snow, but on more on the human condition, especially the stanza closings…
“this new year seems
neglected.”
and
“the purity of snow’s so
ghastly dark.”
Covid has really done a number on a lot of us mentally. There’s this somberness and surliness of mood that in not going to recover from any time soon.
I can’t say Covid has affected me or the people round me much. I never resented the measures taken to slow down a pandemic, still wear a mask in crowded places because people are so slap-happy about turning their head away to sneeze or cough etc. But I agree with your point about the bleakness of mid-winter reflecting the desperate condition of much of the world.
This is a difficult form to write, but you’ve written well.
Thanks for saying so, Ken xxx
A winter without snow is way too dark, I would prefer some snow now-
Snow would be interesting to show the animal prints around the house, but it would only make it easier for the hunters to track down creatures that have a hard enough time surviving as it is. So, I’ll pass on the delights of snow and keep on complaining about the gloom 🙂