The huitain was Paul Brookes’ chosen form last week. It requires a lot of rhymes in a short space, ababbcbc and no repeats. As a standalone stanza, it has to be all there in the eight lines. Though it hasn’t been my favourite, I’ve enjoyed this square 8×8 form (eight lines of eight syllables), and getting it to make sense. I think of this aspect as a form of maths too.
Morning
This morning so blue, limpid air
crow-calling, ah-ah to the light,
a golden flood with wealth to spare,
fills up dull ditches, running bright
as galaxies that mesh the night,
while constellations, stately slow,
step toe to fiery toe, ignite
dawn-strewn dew-gems in afterglow.
Hawk hill
High upon this green hill, hawk-hung,
as mists dissolve and change their state,
fall in dew then rise feather-strung,
to hover in mid-air, I wait,
breathless, as searching eyes locate
some small furred thing, warm heart beating,
watch eternal death in the bate
of unfurled wings, life bleed, fleeting.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
What a difficult form, but you made it look easy. Lovely!
Like all these syllable-counting, rhyming forms, the hard part is saying anything meaningful.
Ha! Don’t I know it!
🙂
You managed to get it all in. It does seem tricky, and not quite as flowing as some of yours.
When I wrote them, I thought they flowed, but you’re right, you can hear the eight syllable stop. It’s a hindrance.
Yes, that’s what it was, that stop breaking the flow.
Yet so many of us can’t hear the difference between a line of four beats and a line of eight syllables;
I get confused with meter, but there is certainly a difference in how they sound.
It’s the difference between poetic meter and the way a song works that I can never sort out. If it sounds right, I let it pass 🙂
Sounds about right. 🙂
Reblogged this on The Wombwell Rainbow.
Thanks Paul 🙂
I like how this one moves and sounds in my head. I also enjoyed the rhyming pattern too and how it was written (as in the vocabulary and structure). I wish I could explain better, but I’m not a poet.😓
I’m glad you like the sound of it. I enjoy poetry that is close to singing. You explain perfectly what it is that appeals. Nobody needs more than that. Thank you 🙂
I like the rhythm of these. It has a definite beat. I don’t think I could manage all these thymes, but you make them work. (K)
You’d find the rhymes if you thought about it. It’s just a question of vocabulary. The hard part is making the poem mean something.
That’s always the hard part, no matter what form you use.
That’s true. With these strict forms though, I’m so concentrated on getting it to work out, I don’t notice that, as a poem, it’s no great shakes.