#writephoto: Guivre

Another scene from the end of the story. For Sue Vincent’s #writephoto challenge, which for me is turning into a storyboard for my WIP.

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He hears Aoife screaming to him to come back. It is too late, she says. No revenge will bring back Gileabard. He doesn’t listen, can’t. His ears are full of the child’s screaming, and his eyes see nothing but green coils draped in white. Not revenge. It is a past of false promises, false happiness that he will kill.

She knew what would happen as soon as she saw him wading into the water. As if a sword could protect him. Guivre, she heard him shout, scream, and the water boiled. He lies now on the bank, his face lily-white, his soft grey eyes blank, staring at something she cannot see. She rips the left leg of his chausses with the sword and reveals the wound—two red staring eyes, rage and despair.

He doesn’t fight. She can see from his eyes that he is leaving, following a call, or simply slipping into gentler waters. She doesn’t understand. She has never known what he promised, or what promises he had broken. All she knows is that it is over. She picks up his sword and stands on the lake’s edge. She shouts to the Guivre to show herself, but the lake is calm now; even the ripples have died.

A sigh. She turns and catches sight of the wisp of breath that is Riseárd’s last. The sword, glowing cold and green, squirms in her hand, and with a cry she drops it in the water, watching through the first of her tears as its coils slither out of sight into the depths. She turns to the lily-white face, stiller even than the lake water, and the world is filled with emptiness.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

21 thoughts on “#writephoto: Guivre”

  1. These dramatic hints you’re giving us make me so excited about seeing the whole story! Seems so epic, and yet so personal too. Very emotional scene here, although will it be this short in the final version? The bits of action and reaction are powerful and evocative as they are, but it seems like the death of a major character and the battle that caused it could be explored over a whole chapter.

    1. I know the story and have it all mapped out. These are just condensations of a scene that as you say might run to a long chapter in the story. The story is epic. At the moment I’m trying to rein in the epicness of it for easier reading 🙂

      1. I know what you mean — epic in depth and emotional impact can be powerful, but epic in length and complexity can be hard to read. Good luck finding the right balance!

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