For the dverse prompt, an Ottava rima.
Coming, going, the waterbirds don’t leave a trace (Dogen)
No weight to feathers, nothing quite as light
As bird-drift, hawk-glide speckling the blue,
Or sailing silent ‘neath the stars the night,
The owl that passes needing scarce a clue
To find her prey, scurry of rodent flight,
And passing leaves the air seamless anew.
We gaze at wonders men have made and see
More worth than in the eagle flying free.
The ottava rima is the perfect form for poetry about birds, Jane, and you have demonstrated that with this gorgeous one. I love the opening lines so much!
Thank you! Once I saw the suggestion I had to do it 🙂
Goodness this poem is as light as a feather – beautifully rendered and the rhymes so unobtrusive they just glide beneath the surface
Thank you. I try to keep it simple, let the rhythm carry it.
you do it so well perhaps because it stems from your love of birds and hence your words fly!
That’s where my choice of subject matter comes from, but I’m also a frustrated singer I’d love to be able to sing, but I have a rotten voice. I have to make do with following the rhythm instead.
Our sense of value and wonder has been twisted, to value our measly output in comparison to the wonder of nature. We’ve veered so far off of the path we may never find it again.
I fear you’re right. It’s easy in a city to be distanced from the natural world, so natural beauty ought to be taught, the same way art is taught. We don’t know much instinctively.
I do love the lightness of the poem, it sours like the bird and what a wonderful use of the quote.
Thank you, Björn 🙂
Unfortunately this is not the case with all water birds. The Canadian geese who used to fly south now winter in our area, and they most assuredly leave evidence of their coming and going. Your poem, however, is beautifully written!
You’re lucky to be able to see them, that’s all I can say 🙂
I’m pleased you enjoyed the poem.
Lovely piece Jane – I was dog walking past the lagoon this morning – a small mallard sailing out across the still water – a dividing line stretching back out across the glass – ephemeral, weightless – just like this beauty, and the clever mechanics appear so effortless.
Thanks. Moving water and birds. Can’t get more mystical and otherworldly than that.
This soars, JD. Octavilicious!
Thanks! Glad you liked it 🙂
I so love the form and amazing scene you have painted with your verses. Wonderfully done.
Thank you, Grace 🙂
Yes Jane, we human beings have never truly found our balance with, or respect of the natural world. We are such brutal oafs. We’d rather destroy it than understand it. This is a gorgeous insightful poem — bravo!
Thank you, Rob. We’re just so full of ourselves. If we didn’t create it and own it, it’s worth nothing.
You write with such ease, Jane! Your piece flows beautifully.
Thank you! I’m pleased you found the rhythm.
My pleasure, Jane!
🙂
I love what you did with that fragment. If flows freely much like the waterbirds. The visuals really took me into this space.
I’m pleased you ‘saw’ the poem 🙂
The rhythm and rhyme flow perfectly, it is a lovely form and the last lines stuck with me. ✨Eloquent! ✨
Thank you! One of the great things about rhyme is that it aids memory 🙂
Very true ❣️
I think our sight is somewhat blinkered! I think the line you chose was perfectly fitted to your poetry.
Thank you! We somehow don’t seem to value the really important things enough.
We could learn from the lightness of birds. Instead we keep adding to the weight we drag around. Lovely as always. (K)
Thank you. There’s more sense in the head of a blue tit than in many people I know.
Much more.
A most exquisite Ottava rima, Jane! 💝 I especially adore those opening lines 🙂
Thank you, Sanaa 🙂
Your word weaving has me mesmerised. Every time I read it, something different comes to the fore.
Thank you! I’m pleased the words keep changing. They ought to have a kaleidoscope effect since so much of what we understand is our own personal interpretation.
Words in a kaleidoscope – what a wonderful idea!
🙂
Your poem itself took flight for me…..as light as can be….only in the second reading did I discover the rhyme. Beautifully done.
Ah, now that is a compliment. Thank you! I love rhyme and rhythm, but when it’s predictable it loses some of its poetry.
Beauty too often overlooked is no less beautiful. The loss lies with those who will not see.
You are so right 🙂
such a rhythmic flowing tribute to birdlife with a shot at those blind to the beauty and wonder …
Thank you! Most of the people who live in the countryside around me may as well be living in a well-ordered suburb. They like order and tidy and resent incursions by wildlife.
their loss, I love nature, she is so healing!
It is their loss!
The message in your poetry we hear loud, as well we should. Beautifully composed.
Standing ovation, Jane, this is beautiful
Thank you, Debi!
What a perfect form to use for this lovely writing. How can you match an eagle flying free?
Thank you! Nothing beats a big bird for a powerful image of freedom.