Another attempt at a fragment poem for dverse.
When all you get are fragments
and then another one sails,
drifts, ash from a bonfire,
settling on the green, white wings folding
and hackles fluttering in the breeze,
while I take a sip of coffee,
radio blather breaking the silence
into brittle splinters.
The door slams
paint chips every time.
I’ve told her but she doesn’t care.
Anger always in the air
like cordite.
I wish
the weather would break
if the wind changed
blow away the dead weight of heat,
the sun so bright it hurts,
and in the limp shade
no birds sing, as if
the world was waiting for the end—
listen,
I hear the boots marching.
That’s a chilling ending. They are echoing everywhere. (K)
Everything seems to end up with men and heavy artillery.
You do this so well, Jane. Somehow your seemingly unrelated fragments weave into a loosely-woven story. Intriguing.
Thanks Judy 🙂 The idea of a lot of unrelated, disjointed fragments doesn’t appeal, so I linked them, grammatically if in no other way.
Yes I agree, but I think the point was to have them relate but not in an obvious way.. You did a great job of it.
Yes, you’re right. I reread the instructions and found I’d misread. Oh well, I did it right despite myself 🙂 Thank you 🙂
I love it when that happens, don’t you?
It’s a sort of vindication 🙂
A real chill comes over me reading this…I seek something, somewhere in the fragments that is warm, reassuring, and find it in your coffee, but then am swept away again…a wonderful read, I realise this fragments concept is a real art, as practiced here…
Thank you! I tried something a but different here, linking the stanzas with run-ons that work grammatically but don’t follow the same image or direction. Glad you think it works 🙂
Beautifully scripted, poignant
Thank you 🙂
there’s a rather harsh “theme” running through these, Jane, I feel…
It’s always there beneath the peaceful surface. In every family there’s one child who slams doors and doesn’t care. Thankfully they usually grow out of it, and the calm returns 🙂
I love how your fragments together tell a story, one that is sharp to the senses.
Thanks Marie 🙂 I tried to link up each stanza while still having each one read like an excerpt from another poem.
Yo Jane — I am in the half-sleep insomniac bloom of zolpidem, but I like your work. I will return when I am once again razored out to write a ringing comment! ✌🏼❤️
Thanks Rob 🙂
I really love the way you used enjambment between the stanza… like an exquisite corpse written by one poet.
Thanks Björn. I don’t know that expression, but I like the sound of an exquisite corpse. I tried to get the stanzas to run on grammatically even if they went off in different directions.