Microfiction: Galloping

99 word story for Charli Mills’ writing challenge.

Redon_pegasus

The train lurches at an unvarying pace. The same countryside trundles past the window, same fields, rivers, woods. Identical lines of trees border roads she’s sure run faster than this train. In her head she gallops, fast as a mythological horse, flying winged galloper, eating up the cloud miles that separate the two halves of her heart. In her head she howls with excitement and apprehension.

City approaches. Her hooves slow. What if he isn’t there? When the winged train flies into the station, she clings to the last ticking shreds of incertitude, reluctant to risk hope for death.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

11 thoughts on “Microfiction: Galloping”

  1. Great pacing and use of tension, Jane! I love how her mind gallops and the train feels slow, but when worry bogs her thoughts the train speeds up. Masterful how you wrote this!

  2. Jane, this was beautifully written and you really built that tension. It was quite gripping, especially for such a short piece. I’ve been thinking about something along those lines for this week’s library flash.

  3. Thank God, I have never had to reconnect with someone in a timeframe as described. But I have had to endure the long waiting of a child coming home. Intense! Well done!

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