99 word story for Charli Mills’ writing challenge.
The train lurches at an unvarying pace. The same countryside trundles past the window, same fields, rivers, woods. Identical lines of trees border roads she’s sure run faster than this train. In her head she gallops, fast as a mythological horse, flying winged galloper, eating up the cloud miles that separate the two halves of her heart. In her head she howls with excitement and apprehension.
City approaches. Her hooves slow. What if he isn’t there? When the winged train flies into the station, she clings to the last ticking shreds of incertitude, reluctant to risk hope for death.
Fantasy and reality, hope and anxiety. You have me anxious as to whether she was right or wrong to gallop her way there. Great flash.
Thanks Irene. I’ve been there so many times myself and experienced that awful hanging back at the final moment. I hope she wasn’t disappointed 🙂
Me too.
Great pacing and use of tension, Jane! I love how her mind gallops and the train feels slow, but when worry bogs her thoughts the train speeds up. Masterful how you wrote this!
Thank you Charli! Time passes so differently depending on our mood, doesn’t it?
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2016 05:43:34 +0000 To: jane.dougherty@dbmail.com
Jane, this was beautifully written and you really built that tension. It was quite gripping, especially for such a short piece. I’ve been thinking about something along those lines for this week’s library flash.
Do write it! It’ll be interesting to see how two stories with a similar idea behind them end up.
Will do. Thanks for the encouragement xx Rowena
Thank God, I have never had to reconnect with someone in a timeframe as described. But I have had to endure the long waiting of a child coming home. Intense! Well done!
Thank you! I have had this experience, several times and over the same person. Nerve-racking isn’t even close.