This is another attempt at a haibun for the dVerse poet’s pub. The theme is ‘free’.
In the streets where the stores with glitzy names stand shoulder to shoulder, their doors proudly open to the bitter winter wind, crowds surge and press. So much glitter, so much music, muffled jazz or chic silence in the thick-carpeted exclusive boutiques, insinuating into pockets and wallets. Guards on the doors, bored and heavy-jowelled, watch impassively. So much glitter fills hands, touching and caressing to weigh the worth. Feet shove into too-tight shoes, bellies sucked in, huffing and puffing the sea moves through the treasure trove of the sales. Toc. Tat. Too much and not enough. I turn my back and watch the gulls sailing with the river.
Cold sun glints on glass,
credit cards flash and twinkle,
brown bird sings for free.
Jane Dougherty Writes 
I’m with you! I like that haiku very much, and I’m so glad I don’t have to push my way through those crowded shops. Mathoms.
Thank you 🙂 I hate shopping but the sales give me cold shivers.
I am so glad for your haibun and haiku. so often, it is the little brown birds, often unseen, that give us the sweetest music. Excellent!
Thank you! I’m never sure that I’ve done these Japanese forms correctly.
Nice picture of those seagulls in flight. Your line sums up the commercial activity elsewhere: “Too much and not enough.” I’m going to have to remember that line.
Thank you, Frank 🙂 It’s how I feel about buying, spending, shopping. It’s spiritually empty.
I hate shopping, especially in crowded malls or outlet stores. I just want to get out.
The last line is perfect.
Thank you! I don’t know how anyone with any sensitivity can enjoy shopping. You just have to look at the children and dogs in tow to see how sensitive souls react 🙂
It’s changed now with online shopping and such, but “Black Friday” after our Thanksgiving used to be huge shopping day. I know people who got up extra early in the morning to do it. AND LOVED IT! It would be a nightmare to me.
I remember not that long ago, when people used to camp outside the big fancy stores like Harrods to get the bargain as soon as the shop opened on the first day of the sales. They would spend days trawling the shops beforehand, picking out what they intended to grab. It’s a shame people can’t get as passionate and single-minded about things that matter.
True. Some people view it as a competitive sport (which also do not interest me). 🙂
Very perceptive write Jane. I’m with you all the way. Brown Bird beats shopping all day long.
I can bear shops when they’re empty. It’s the sight of mindless consumption that makes me despair. Thank you 🙂
The song of the brown bird sounds magical and resonates across the miles – a beautiful gift in your closing haiku 💜
Thank you! I’m glad you heard it 🙂
A nice, different take on the prompt. Well done.
Thank you!
Too much glitter and touristy are a turn off for me ~ Love the turn to the birds singing for free ~
Thanks you, Grace! Not many people admit to enjoying shopping. Not the kind of people who write poetry anyway 🙂
I like your juxtaposition of two types of flash and glitter and YES for the brown bird singing.
Thanks Janice! I’m glad you caught that aspect. We do make a lot of glittery stuff, but we can’t come close to the beauty of birdsong.
I do love how you notice the details just outside that glitz and glitter. Truly beautiful.
Thank you! There’s a sort of man-made beauty in much of the things we actually despise, but none of it can compare to what nature provides without any effort.
Your photo? Nice. This piece had a way of drawing the reader in. I felt the excitement.
Thank you! Yes, it is my photo. My old phone took some lovely pics.
Sad, isn’t it, all those people trying to buy happiness and pack it into their shopping bags, when it’s free to savor, if only they could see. Wonderful haiku!
Thank you Bev! I agree enirely. And you know that the people who get so excited about a coveted pair of shoes will sling them in the bin as soon as they go out of fashion…and buy another coveted pair…
Absolutely on point! Your haibun rocks….and it’s the little things that most bypass….that are the precious and free gifts. Loved this, Jane.
Thanks Jane 🙂 We set our sights ‘high’ when we mean acquiring things, but if we set them lower, we might not miss the best things of all.
This is more than an “attempt,” Jane–great success. Love the contrast you paint between glitter and gulls. Perfect haiku.
Thank you, Victoria 🙂 I find the Japanese poetry forms difficult to get my head round. BTW I can’t remember if I got back to your post. It was with yours that the site started to bug for me and wouldn’t open any of the links. The comment page disappeared too. I’ll go and check 🙂