Couldn’t resist trying out this new form for the dverse prompt.
Storm coming
The world is enclosed in this window frame
waving oriflammes of gold
where sunlight gathers in dark dusk
and black clouds crawl, ponderous as tanks.
Waving oriflammes of gold,
the meadow marches into night.
No birds sing, no song but the wind,
where sunlight gathers in dark dusk,
releasing quivers of shafts of cold rain.
Storm stalks the meadow stalks
and black clouds crawl, ponderous as tanks,
bearing down on the golden pelt of this patient beast,
that tomorrow will glisten, unvanquished.
I love it, it feels like summer when we both have that gold of a sunset and the violence of a storm… and soon after rain comes the sun.
The dry grass stalks seem to soak up the sun.
This sounds like an ominous storm coming but you captured the wild beauty with:
waving oriflammes of gold
You captured the cycle of nature, where it will be stormy, then the sun will be glistening again.
Lovely trimeric poem Jane.
Thanks Grace. We’ve had days of blistering heat and now we’re getting the storms. If it stops at rain I’ll be pleased.
I absolutely love, love this! ❤️ We are awaiting monsoon season here which will probably arrive by end of June. This stood out for me; “Waving oriflammes of gold, the meadow marches into night.” 🙂
Nice Jane. I like the format.
Thank you. Yes, I think it’s a good idea too.
Jane,
Stunning poetry as always. All the elements of nature gathering in a window framed riot of motion and color. Beautiful.
pax,
dora
Thank you 🙂 It’s fun having a grandstand view!
You ain’t afraid of no trimeric; excellent response to the prompt, a riot of the senses, and wonderful word-smithing.
Thank you!
I like the visual of dark tanks in the sky bringing a storm. We need an assault like that here.
It didn’t come to much, passed us by mostly. Wetted the plants though.
Good that your plants got wetted. I think your tank clouds traveled here, as we got rain all night, so thank you ❤
Any time 🙂 There’s more on the way!
Jane, I really, really like the combination of ponderous as tanks and unvanquished in that last stanza – it really flows smoothly upon my imagination ❤
-David
I was going to make a very similar comment, David. I do like that “ponderous as tanks” description of the clouds but also like the optimistic ending.
Thank you 🙂 The essential always springs back. A few branches broken and vines shredded, but the work of life goes on.
Thank you, David. The storm isn’t just a spectacle, is it? It’s easy to forget that the power of it has consequences, right down to the roots of the meadow grass.
oh, I love this and how it makes me feel the weather
Thank you! The weather does tend to invite itself into the house!
I could feel the storm coming. The other day here it was stormy. Thunder, lightning and then the rain. This verse really stands out for me.
Waving oriflammes of gold,
the meadow marches into night.
No birds sing, no song but the wind,
Thank you 🙂 It was very hot, thick dark cloud, and high wind, but no rain. The storm with thunder and lightning came the next day. Real summer weather.
I especially loved the closing, with the glistening and unvanquished pelt.
Very naturalistic writing, Jane!
Thank you!
“tomorrow will glisten, unvanquished.”
I’m always open to optimism 🙂
Wonderful poem Jane 👍🤝
Thank you!
Wonderful work with the prompt! I love the echoes of medieval warfare that come through ‘oriflamme’ contrasted with the image of modern warfare in ‘ponderous as tanks,’ all with nature in the foreground, as it should be.
Thank you 🙂 It’s a battle, but there’s no vanquished with nature. It’s never personal, and nothing bears a grudge 🙂
the colors and silence flowing in this piece create such peace, Jane.
I’m pleased you found that. The storm in nature is never angry, the violence is never directed at anything in particular, and when it’s over, it’s over.
Beautifully put Jane. The storm is here and has been for two days. It is biblical in proportion.💜
We had the two-day storm, but it didn’t do much. Wind, a bit of rain, a bit of thunder. Bit of a wash out really 🙂
Lol so is ours but it is causing trouble!
Oh! Hope it packs it in soon then.
So do we!
Beautifully captured nature of summer storms–the light, then the gathering dark clouds, the stillness. . .Oriflammes is such a great word!
Thank you! The light is the best bit of the storm.
I love that word too. It really sounds like what it is.
Yes, you’re right about both things.😀
🙂
Your trimeric paints the scene so well – I can smell the petrichor.
Thank you! It didn’t last very long and I was able to get up and open the windows again, let in some of that lovely smell.
Gorgeous poem, Jane. I especially love the last stanza, and the phrase “ponderous as tanks.” 🙂
Thank you 🙂 I’m pleased you like it.
Love the use of ‘oriflammes’ in your lovely trimeric! Cheers.
This form works perfectly for a gathering storm. The accumulation of the details, multiplying. (K)
Yes, it’s a form works well for building up tension.
I like the symbols in this poem… it’s not just a storm coming, but a feeling of impending doom, with the military references. And I had to look up “oriflammes” — so I learned something today 🙂
Thank you! Storms are such a potent force, it’s easy to think of them as malevolent, but they pass without much damage, unlike the wars we spark.
Oriflamme is a lovely word, and it describes those early banners beautifully.
Beautiful perspective of a rainstorm on what I imagine is a field of wheat. You have some wonderful images in this Jane. My favorite “black clouds crawl, ponderous as tanks”.
That field of wheat is a bit of my lawn 🙂 Thanks, Rob!
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You describe the approaching storm like the preparations for a military battle. 😉 Powerful! xx Michael
It sounds like distant shelling!