Red dawn breaks

Circular poem in response to the secret keeper’s poetry challenge to write a poem using these five words:

| SHARP | RED | BREAK | PEN | CLOSE |

PENTAX Digital Camera

Red dawn breaks, sharp as knives,
Lives shift and stir, some close, in tepid beds,
Reds and pinks paint the sky,
High, too high, to touch with mortal hand.
Stand and watch the tearing of the night,
Slight breath of a breeze drifts,
Sifts the dark fragments, sorts the words.
Birds break loose from their pen,
Again they soar, this time free as air,
Where a thousand generations of ancestors have led,
Red dawn breaks sharp as knives.

Published by

Jane Dougherty

I used to do lots of things I didn't much enjoy. Now I am officially a writer. It's what I always wanted to be.

15 thoughts on “Red dawn breaks”

      1. And right you are to enjoy the form! I’ll have to give it another go … only wrote the one which you introduced me to, but the form is a splendid challenge!

  1. I am impressed with your new form of poetry. It might take me time to familiarize myself. All words use perfect in course with the challenge and from what I understand so far of circular poetry you found your way around and home again. You are quite amazing at venturing forth into newness with your writing of poems. Challenge enough the words but to take on a completely foreign form is the real challenge. For me it is anyway. – jk

    1. Thank you for the encouraging words! You should try it. It’s easier than you’d thinkโ€”the rhymes come spontaneously, and there you have your line break. Try it ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. I was talking to my partner tonight and she tried to explain it to me. I think I have a general idea of what a circular poem is but what is this you say about the rhymes. Am I expected to have rhymes? Where do they come in to the circular telling of a tale which starts in one point and goes out and around and then arriving back to where on had started? Thought I had a hold of what I understood but I am rethinking that position.

        Tell me about the rhymes. That is where my confusion lies. Thank you Jane.

      2. The first word of each line rhymes with the last word of the previous line, ending up with a repetition of the first line, so the first word of all rhymes with the last word of the penultimate line. It’s really quite easy since you can have your line break wherever you like. No internal rhyming patterns or rhythm. Try it and you’ll see ๐Ÿ™‚

      3. Wow! Great explanation. Going to save. Will practice and study your explanation. It makes complete sense yet I feel I will get lost in a maze. My mind will have to be quick not to let the path fade away. It will be a challenge but I am going to go for it. When i have something worthy of exhibition I will post it and if I remember, I will let you know once it appears on the secret keeper. i schedule a lot of my posts ahead, so I can be surprised too when I check my blog first thing.It’s fun, like Christmas morning when being a kid was the best part of the Holiday.

        Thank you again for the help and encouragement. ๐Ÿ™‚

      4. Just don’t think about it. Write, and when you reach a word that you feel has a rhyme to follow it, make your line break there. Like:
        I watch the gull upon the sea
        Free it flies beyond the waves
        Saves the souls of wanderers lost.
        Frost bites and still I wait etc etc.
        Just let the words flow ๐Ÿ™‚

      5. This helps even more to understand. I will practice a touch and when brave enough will post what I write. Thank you Jane for being so understanding and supportive. ๐Ÿ™‚

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